The Perfect Answer

Day two hundred ninety-nine

I have mentioned in previous posts that I live in a house where depression is a real obstacle.  My husband and my two sons all have varying degrees of depression.  One of the problems we have talked about in our home is the fact that when depression sets in it makes it difficult to feel the Spirit.  Over the years this has often taken a toll on the testimony of the men in my life.  How can they know that something is real if the Spirit can't testify to them that it is real?  It has been a real dilemma.

Throughout it all I have tried to be the person that they could lean on during these times. My testimony has had to carry them through some of these difficult times, which I am thankful for, but it can be exhausting at times.  It is hard enough to feed yourself spiritually,then add three more people looking to be fed.  It can be overwhelming.

To be honest, I chose this path.  When depression first showed itself in my family I had to make a choice, do I leave and not deal with this or do I stay and fight for what I believe in?  I chose to fight and I have never stopped. 

Along the way I have been shown glimpses of what kind of spirits are trapped in my husband and sons.  I use the word trapped because I know that's how they feel when they are depressed.  They want to be happy and believe, but the depression traps them in a cycle of hopelessness.

I was fortunate to have a glimpse into the spirit of my husband last night.  He is a spiritual giant inside his imperfect human body.  He touched my heart more than I can express in words, but I would like to try.  His words humbled me, filled me, and gave me hope!

In our home we have pictures of Jesus hanging on the wall near the stairwell.  In all the pictures Jesus is smiling.  I have done this on purpose, it is to remind each of us that we need to behave in such a way that when we meet Jesus that is how He will react.  

Well we are painting the inside of the house so the pictures were down and we ended up talking about how we needed to put the picture back up so that we could see it.  The conversation led to a discussion with questions like, Would you change your behavior, your words, or actions if Christ we really here in our home?  

While we were discussing this, a commercial came on the radio for a club in Portland that could be called a den of iniquity.  My son asked what would Jesus say if He found you outside of that club?  This was a good question and as my thoughts went to trying to find an answer, my husband spoke the perfect answer.  He said, "Jesus would say, 'You won't find what you are looking for in there. Come with me.'"  Wow!  In that moment I got to see the spiritual giant awakened.  My husband, who struggles everyday with his relationship with God, was perfectly in tune with God in that moment and my whole family was there to witness it. 

This was a teaching moment for me.  I am usually the one who has to come up with the perfect answer and this time it came from him.  I underestimate him sometimes, his wisdom is deeper than he lets others see.  How grateful I am that God knows him well enough to create an environment where my husband feels comfortable sharing his thoughts.  What a great gift to my family.

I am sharing this because I think there are others out there that find themselves in the same situation.  It is difficult to carry the burdens that come with depression for all involved.  The Lord is aware of this, that's why we have these special moments like this one.  He is letting us know that He loves us, He hears us, and He answers our prayers.  He is giving us hope.  I hope you will take the time to remember the perfect answer moments in your life, and to have hope that you will have more in the future.