Today's prayer was simple: Heavenly Father I love you and I love my Savior. Please let me show this in my words and actions today. Thank you for the knowledge that you love me. Please let the Spirit guide me so that others may know that you love them too. Amen.
Ruth 3-4
As I read about the relationship between Ruth and Boaz I came to the conclusion that society puts too much weight on romance and not enough on character. What do I mean by this? Let's start with romance.
Romance - "a feeling of excitement and mystery associated with love." "A fictitious tale of wonderful and extraordinary events, characterized by much imagination and idealization; without basis in fact; an exaggeration or falsehood." - Webster's New World Dictionary.
Every little girl dreams of being swept off her feet by her prince charming. But did you catch the words in the definition of romance: fictitious, imagination, idealization, without basis in fact; exaggeration, falsehood. The hard fact is that romance is not based on anything solid, it is not a real relationship.
When I taught seminary I had a young audience filled with dreams of romance (mostly the girls). They would talk about their perfect man or "soul mate", what their perfect wedding would be like, and their perfect life together. I know that much of these imaginations are fed by media's representation of romance. People, books and movies have painted an unrealistic view of relationships. It was a sad day when I burst that bubble with a quote from President Spencer W. Kimball:
"Soul mates' are fiction and an illusion; and while every young man and young woman will seek with all diligence and prayerfulness to find a mate with whom life can be most compatible and beautiful, yet it is certain that almost any good man and any good woman can have happiness and a successful marriage if both are willing to pay the price."
The truth is, the fairy tale ending we are looking for is not easy, it requires a lot of work and a good foundation to start with. What is a good foundation? Let's start with character.
Character - "is the mental and moral qualities distinctive to an individual." " It is a pattern of behavior based on sound principles, moral strength, and integrity. Plus the guts to live by those principles every day. Character is evidenced by your life’s virtues and the “line you never cross”.
When a relationship is based on the character of those involved it is real, not imagined or exaggerated. Knowing the character of the person you plan to marry sets realistic expectations that are grounded on principles and morals, not someone's hotness factor. I found it refreshing in the last two chapters of the Book of Ruth to watch the relationship of Boaz and Ruth grow through the character of each of them.
Now I imagine that there were some feelings of excitement and nervousness that came to both of them while they pursued the option of marriage. These are normal feelings when courting, but the relationship wasn't based on just those feelings, it was based on mutual respect for the character of each of them.
Character matters! Character is the most valuable thing you have, and nobody but you can ever take it away! We will have some great examples of this in the upcoming books of the Old Testament (think David). To be a person of good character and to find a person of good character is what the Lord wants for us.
I wonder if the Lord included this story to help us see the importance of character in our relationships, knowing that marriage and relationships in our time would suffer so much. President Spencer W Kimball had something to say about this:
"The Lord's way builds individual self esteem and develops and heals the dignity of the individual, whereas the world's way depresses the individual's view of himself and causes deep resentment"
If character were more important in our society, maybe then we would have lower divorce rates and fewer single parents. When we build stronger individuals, we build stronger families.
We need to get back to the Lord's way and see where it takes us. For Ruth and Boaz it led to being in the lineage of Jesus Christ himself. What could be in store for us?
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