Feelings of Inadequacy

Day fifty

First item of prayer this morning was a great big thank you to the Lord for all the blessings in my life!  My family had a great time visiting with friends and family after Ryan's ordination last night. What a great blessing to have two priesthood holders under one roof and to be able to share it with people that love my family so much, it made it that much more special! Second item was to request that the Spirit would be with me today as I was preparing a talk for church tomorrow.  I have been struggling with it all week, trying to get my thoughts to make sense and to make sure that what I was planning to say was led by the Spirit.  I have faith that it will all work out.

I am studying Moses chapter 6 today.  There are a lot of lessons to learn in chapter 6, but the one that seems to fit me the best is found in verse 31 which is Enoch's response to the Lord's call:

"And when Enoch had heard these words, he bowed himself to the earth, before the Lord, saying:  Why is it that I have found favor in thy sight, and am but a lad, and I am slow of speech; wherefore am I thy servant?"

Enoch is expressing his feelings of inadequacy.  He is not alone in having these feelings, both the prophet Moses (Exodus 4:10-12) and Jeremiah (Jeremiah 1:4-9) felt inadequate to serve as the Lord had called them to do.  Many of the leaders of the Church have expressed these same concerns.  Elder James E. Faust taught: "Most of us who are called to leadership in the Church feel that we are inadequate because of inexperience, lack of ability, or meager learning and education."

I don't think you have to be in a leadership position to feel inadequate in what the Lord has asked you to do.  I feel that way a lot.  I am not the smartest, most well educated, or able speaker, yet the Lord has called me to teaching positions within the Church for many years.  I did not have a degree in parenting, but the Lord felt that I should parent two young boys that were less than fourteen months apart. I have often thought to myself, what is the Lord thinking?  There are people much more qualified to do these jobs, are you sure you want to  choose me?

I love the Lord's response to Enoch: "Go forth and do as I have commanded thee, and no man shall pierce thee."  I do not fear that people will harm me, but I do fear that people will judge me on my inadequacies. I think the Lord is telling me that I need to have a little faith in Him, to do what he tells me to do, and He will take care of the people that would judge me.

He goes on: "Open thy mouth, and it shall be filled, and I will give thee utterance, for all flesh is in my hands, and I will do as seemeth me good."  This is one of those 'it's not about me moments'.  I am just the instrument through which the Lord chooses to sometimes share his message.  I just need to take the leap and let Him do the rest.  He won't leave me hanging, he will provide what I need to say.

The Lord explains how this works: "Behold my Spirit is upon you, wherefore all thy words will I justify..." and "thou shalt abide with me, and I in you; therefore walk with me."  With such a beautiful invitation how can anyone refuse to be the Lord's servant?  To know that God will abide in me and walk with me is the best motivation I can think of for doing what He commands me to do.

Taking the leap and becoming one of the Lord's servants is not easy, it is a constant battle of overcoming our feelings of inadequacy. Enoch, Moses, and Jeremiah all faced difficult times as a servant of God, but the blessings that came from their service are innumerable.  We can not know how our service to the Lord will not only bless us, but those that we serve. I will continue this battle with the hope that it will get easier and that through me the Lord may bless the lives of others.