Day forty-nine
I awoke this morning with a feeling of anticipation for what the day would bring. My friends travelled in safety and I am looking forward to visiting with them today and I have the opportunity to see my eldest son become an Elder today! My prayer was filled with gratitude for the blessings the Lord has given my family and friends. There is a feeling of safety that comes with the knowledge that the Lord is actively participating in your life and puts the people that you need to progress in your path. I am truly blessed with a great family and great friends!
I have moved on to Moses Chapter 5, the Story of Cain and Abel, for scripture study today.
There was one thing that really stood out to me in this story; it says a lot about God's character and dealing with conflict.
In the story of Cain and Abel each of these brothers prepares an offering to the Lord. The Lord accepts Abel's, but denies Cain's which makes Cain angry. The Lord was justified in not accepting Cain's offering, he did not do it in faith, but it is the way the Lord deals with this situation that impresses me the most.
I know as a parent I have found myself in a similar position with an angry child standing before me. In my case, I can say that I didn't always know the best way to react to the situation. So I thought this would be a great opportunity to learn from the Master!
How God Deals with Cain
Lesson One: The Lord still loved him. In fact, the Lord loves him so much that he tries to use the experience as a teaching moment. He shows compassion.
I need to keep my composure enough that I can feel compassion and see the opportunities to use love and teaching, instead of feelings of anger, frustration, and arguing.
Lesson Two: "If thou doest well, thou shalt be accepted" (Moses 5:23) The Lord tells Cain that if he would make the right kind of offering, He would accept it. He gives Cain the chance to go back, think about what needs to change, apply what he learns, and to try again. If he learns the lesson, repents, and makes the offering in the appropriate manner, the Lord will accept it.
The urge to punish instead of teach is often overwhelming in situations where anger is involved. The example the Lord sets here is important. I need to be thinking about the chance I have to help them overcome and repent for their actions. My actions and words should reflect that desire. I know that when I implement this teaching in my home the effects of the experience are felt much deeper and the chances of re-offending seem less likely.
Lesson Three: "And if thou doest not well, sin lieth at the door..." (Moses 5:23) He does not take away Cain's agency, instead he lets him know that his sin waits for him to repent. Cain has to choose to want to change.
This is tough. I have found myself trying to pressure my children into repentance and I didn't even recognize it at the time. If I want to teach my children about repentance I need to be the example. And instead of guilting them into repentance I should be praying for their hearts to be softened so that they can correct their own ways. You cannot force repentance on someone, they have to want it for themselves. They have to have their agency. A good lesson for anyone!
Lesson Four: "And Satan desireth to have thee" (Moses 5:23) To me this phrase shows that the Lord really understands what we are going through. He is involved in Cain's life and knows who and what he was battling. He is giving him a warning to help him recognize where this influence is coming from.
We cannot be involved in every aspect of our child's life, but the Lord expresses here that we need to make it a priority to know who is influencing them. And if we find that the influences aren't positive we have an obligation to warn them. This is possibly the least welcoming part of this process from the viewpoint of the child and the parent. It is usually not received well and the child might even pull away from the parent. We are all called to do hard things and this is one of them.
Lesson Five: "...and except thou shalt hearken unto my commandments, I will deliver thee up..." (Moses 5:23) This is not a threat, but a statement of consequences. The Lord is letting Cain know that he is accountable for how he uses his agency and that there are serious consequences for his choices.
One of the great things about being a Christian and having the gospel is that the consequences are all laid out for us. The scriptures are filled with examples of people who have made good and bad choices and the consequences of those choices. I think as a parent I need to be studying the scriptures so that I can be a more effective teacher and share the knowledge of these examples with my family. Sometimes knowing the consequences beforehand can help prevent a problem in the future.
I want to parent more like the Lord. I don't know how old Cain was at the time of this conversation, but it appears that he was more adult age. I find myself with two adult aged sons in my home now and I still want to be a better parent for them. I want the blessings for my family that would come from following the Lord's example. How thankful I am for the lessons the Lord gives me!
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