From Beginning to End

Day one hundred and two

The other day I heard a guy on the radio talking about the What Would Jesus Do? bracelets and he brought up an interesting point, he asked, wouldn't the better question be:  What Can I Do For Jesus?  I've been thinking about that question.  There are times in my life when I am asked to step out of my comfort zone to meet a need that God has or to make a sacrifice that I will feel deeply. I am not always gracious in these moments.  In fact, I have often complained about it or done the work with a poor attitude.  Not my best moments.  I keep forgetting that's it's not all about me.  As I prayed this morning these were the thoughts in my head and it led to a prayerful conversation with my Father in Heaven about ways I think I can improve. I felt better after repenting for my bad attitude and unwillingness, but the best part is that I know I won't have to face these challenges alone.

Genesis 50

I have finished the Book of Genesis.  It has been quite a journey and I have shared only a portion of what I have learned in my posts.  Here are a few things that I found interesting about this book:

• The book is known as the book of beginnings.
• It is the place that we are introduced to things like sin, death, marriage, childbirth, family dynamics, prayer, sacrifice, rain, etc. 
• We are introduced to God and learn about some of His attributes in this book. 
• It is in this book that most of us will trace our ancestry to one of the 12 tribes.
• It is this book that sets the stage for all other scripture. 
• It is in this book that we are first given examples of living righteously, like Adam and Joseph.
• It is also a book that ends quite differently than it begins. It begins with creation and ends with a coffin. It begins with life and ends with death.

For me I think the examples of the Genesis prophets have taught me the most.  Their reliance, trust, and allegiance to the Lord is very inspiring.  Their desire to do the right thing under all circumstances is impressive. There is a quote in the institute manual that impressed upon me the need for these attributes in my own life:

“I believe this is the greatest lesson that can be learned by the youth of Zion—to do the right thing because you love the Lord. It is so vitally important that, I feel, if you do anything in righteousness for any other reason than you love the Lord, you are wrong—at least you are on very shaky ground. And, somewhere your reasons for acting in righteousness will not be strong enough to see you through. You will give way to expediency, or peer group pressure, or honor, or fame, or applause, or the thrill of the moment, or some other worldly reason. Unless your motives are built upon the firm foundation of love of the Lord, you will not be able to stand.” (Hartman Rector, Jr., "Live above the Law to Be Free," Ensign, Jan 1973, p. 130)

I know the quote is directed to the youth of Zion, but I am still young in my relationship with God so I think that it is suited to me too.  It is the last line of the quote that I really appreciate because that is what I have gained from my study of this book, a firmer foundation of love for the Lord.  I have learned to recognize the Lord in all aspects of my life, the good and the bad, and to know that He is leading me in the direction that I need to go because He loves me!  I just need to be more trusting.

I stated earlier that the Book of Genesis starts with life and ends with death.  This is the opposite of my spiritual experience with this book, I feel more alive now than when I began my studies.  It was a book of beginnings for me, the beginning of more understanding and a closer relationship with God. I think that's how it's supposed to be. 

The Price That is Paid

Day one hundred and one

Today is one of those days that I truly appreciate, there is stuff that needs to get done, but it isn't a mad rush to get everything done by a certain time.  A well paced, busy day, I like that.  So I started off my day with a prayer saying thank you for the day and what it would bring, but I ended up thinking about some of the answers to prayers that have been coming our way, and the next thing you know I'm having a half hour conversation with the Lord about how I see His hand in my life and how grateful I am for the blessings He is giving me. As I have studied the scriptures more and tried to apply what I am learning in my life, I have found myself talking with Him more.  It makes me wish I would have started doing this sooner!

Genesis 49

I read ch 49 this morning and really had no idea what I was going to write about, so I went for my walk to think about it.  As I was walking I was listening to music and a song came on that got me thinking about sins and forgiveness.  That is when the idea for my post came:  What part did sin have to play in the blessings that Jacob gave to his sons before he died?

There are four sons that I would like to focus on:  Reuben, Simeon, Levi, and Judah.

Reuben (Genesis 49:3- 4)
What was Reuben's sin?  "because thou wentest up to they father's bed; then defiledst thou it." (v4).  Reuben committed adultery with his father's wife, Bilhah. (Gen 35:22-23)

How did this affect his blessing:  Jacob starts out telling Reuben that he is "the firstborn, my might, and the beginning of my strength (posterity), the exellency of dignity, and the excellency of power." (v 3).  This was Reuben's potential, but because of his sin he is described as "unstable as water" and told that "thou shalt not excel." He loses the birthright and is told that he will not prosper.  And, he didn't! His tribe never rose to prominence in the nation of Israel. In fact, they were often found on the wrong side of the fence. They were often found in direct opposition to the will of the Lord.

Some thoughts on this:  There is no record of Reuben ever confessing to this sin, yet we know that Jacob knew of it, in Gen 35:22 "and Israel heard it." Did Reuben hide his sin all those years thinking that know one knew?  There is a saying that seems to fit Reuben's situation::

"What we do not bring out at the mercy seat, will be brought out at the judgment seat!"

His lack of confession cost him dearly.

Simeon and Levi (Genesis 49:5-7) 
What was the sin of Simeon and Levi?  In Gen 34:25-26 we learn that their sister, Dinah, had been taken by force and robbed of her chastity by a man named Shechem.  Simeon and Levi helped talk the men of the city into being circumcised in order to make peace.  The men agreed to do it.  When they were incapacitated because of the surgery, Simeon and Levi killed them all.

How did this affect their blessings:  Jacob doesn't hold back he calls them "instruments of cruelty" (Gen 49:5). He divides them and tells them they will be scattered in Israel! This is exactly what happened! The tribe of Simeon never really prospers and eventually is swallowed up by the tribe of Judah, and the Levites, they became those that worked in the Temple, they become the priestly tribe, but just as Jacob said, they were scattered (v. 7) and possessed no land of their own. Their sin cost them plenty!

Some thoughts on this:  Unlike Reuben, the sins of Simeon and Levi were out in the open for everyone to see.   There is no record of either of them seeking repentance for their acts of murder. And from the scriptures it seems that Jacob worried more about their sins than they did!  Here is a quote that fits them:

"If a man possesses a repentant spirit his sins will disappear, but if he has an unrepentant spirit his sins will continue and condemn him for their sake forever." ~Buddha

Judah (Genesis 49:8-12)
What was the sin of Judah?  After hearing what Jacob had said to his brothers you would wonder what Judah was thinking about his own sins.  What harsh words would Jacob have for Judah?  Would he bring up Judah's part in selling Joseph into slavery? or what a terrible father he was? or what about that whole business with Tamar?  

How did his sins affect his blessing? Jacob does not bring up any of Judah's sins.  Instead he speaks of blessings and praise.  Why?  Because Judah had confessed and had a repentant soul.  Remember in Gen 44:18-34 Judah talks to Joseph about what he's done and how he will take the place of Benjamin. Because of his repentant soul Jacob blesses Judah that he would be a natural leader among the sons of Jacob and that Shiloh (Jesus Christ) would be his descendant (Gen 49:10).  Wow what amazing blessings!  Judah experienced the miracle of forgiveness.  A quote that fits Judah:

“The miracle of forgiveness is real, and true repentance is accepted of the Lord” ~Ezra Taft Benson

I think we all can relate to these types of sinners, those that hide their sins, those that sin with no regard for how it affects others, and those that sin, but eventually turn to God's way and ask for forgiveness and become a better person.  What a great example of the price that is paid for our sins and how they can affect generations as opposed to the blessings that can come from being repentant.  It made me stop and think about the sins of my past and how they might have affected those around me.  It also made me grateful for repentance and the thought that there is hope that the mistakes I have made and their affects on others can be repaired by a loving God.

God Shall Be With You

Day one hundred

I am so grateful for the opportunity I have this morning to stop and reflect on the previous week and prepare myself for the week ahead.  As much as I like conference I really miss taking the Sacrament on those weekends, there is something about dedicating that time to thinking about the Savior and my Father in Heaven that gives me direction for the rest of my week.  Listening to the words of the Sacrament prayer and choosing to take the bread and water are reminders of the amazing blessings of the Atonement that I have in my life. I prayed with gratitude for this chance to refocus my thoughts and efforts on the more sacred things and asked that I would have this same focus with me throughout this week. 

Genesis 48

There is a sweetness to this chapter that is so nice to read after all the wickedness in the Book of Genesis.  Jacob is nearing the time of his death and calls for Joseph to bring his two sons to his bedside so that he can bless them.  In verse 21 Jacob is talking to Joseph and he says something that really touched my heart.  He tells Joseph: "God shall be with you, and bring you again unto the land of your fathers." Jacob wants to leave his son with the knowledge that God will never forsake His people.  What a sweet promise Jacob leaves with Joseph.

We have that same sweet promise today:

"...for he hath said, I will never leave thee, nor forsake thee." (Hebrew 13:5)

"... and, lo, I am with you alway, even unto the end of the world. Amen." (Matt 28:20)

"(For the Lord thy God is a merciful God;) he will not forsake thee..." (Deut 4:31)

"... for I am in your midst, and I have not forsaken you." (D&C 61:36)

Think about it, God can be with you all the time, watching over all you do. He is there to protect you, sustain you, encourage you, bless you and work through you.  I don't know why, but that thought really struck me today.  When I try to ponder the implications of God being with me in all these ways, I can't fully wrap my mind around it, it's too overwhelming (in a good way).  Maybe I'm not supposed to fully understand it yet, but it is a great way to start my Sabbath morning, with a reminder that God is always there for me!         

Hope For a Dysfunctional Family

Day ninety-nine

I have another crazy busy weekend going on, so I knew exactly what I needed to pray for this morning, the ability to prioritize correctly!  It is easy for me to get caught up in the details and not see the big picture.  The ability to see what is really important would be a great blessing to help me keep on track.  So I thanked the Lord for giving me so many opportunities and asked for His divine help in not losing my way.

Genesis 46-47

The definition of a dysfunctional family is: A family with multiple 'internal'conflicts or 'external' influences that affect the basic needs of the family unit. I think at some point in our lives we all feel like we come from a dysfunctional family.  Especially the teen years!  So I couldn't pass up the opportunity to dig a little deeper into a topic that seems to relate to all of us.

At this point in the story of Jacob's family we have seen sibling rivalry, bullying, hatred, lying, greed, murder, revenge, incest and other wickedness.  Just about every sin that can occur in a family has!  I think it is fair to say that Jacob's family would fit the definition of a dysfunctional family.

There is another side to this story though, the story of Jacob's family is also a story of hope.  Jacob's family was a blessed family.  Yes, blessed.  God had a plan for Jacob.  Remember Jacob spoke with God one night while he was on his way to his uncle’s house (Gen 28) and had another encounter with God on the way back to Bethel. (Gen 32). Those two encounters with Almighty God changed Jacob’s life forever.

"God took a solitary man by the name of Jacob and brought through him the nation of Israel. What appeared to be a family riddled and ruined by dysfunction and tragedy was actually a picture of God’s grace in the making." (Joseph's Family Reunion)

Most people would look at Jacob's family and describe his situation as hopeless.  How many would have given up on their own children had they behaved like Jacob's sons?  Jacob's family might have been part of God’s eternal plan, but they were not perfect. In fact, they were a long way from it! Still, God was able to do His will through these people.

As you read these chapters, remind yourself that the Lord knew every detail and every connection within the family of Jacob. God saw every single thing and He took note of it all. He knew every detail of Jacob’s family. He knew every individual, every sin, every problem, every fear, and every worry. He knew exactly what needed to happen to bring them together in the end.

Take a look at your own family.  It may appear that things are out of control in the lives of those you love, but don't forget that God has a plan for your family too!  He knows everything about your family. He knows every secret you're trying to hide, He knows your strengths and weaknesses. He knows every detail that has made you who you are.  Yet He is still working through you! 

Even with all the imperfections of Jacob's family, God was still able to do amazing things through their experiences.  There was hope for Jacob's family, but it took looking at them through more spiritual eyes and trusting in God to find it. And it took many years for it to all come together, God is patient that way.

We can learn from Jacob's family.  Keep praying for those members in your family that seem to be moving in the wrong direction, ask to see them through more spiritual eyes. Keep being the example that they need us to be. Keep trusting the Lord to do the right thing. He will! He has a plan! Trust Him more, He trusted you enough to give you these challenges! Most of all be patient, God is known for doing things at His own pace,  we need to bend to His will not try to bend Him to ours.  He loves us, which means there will always be hope, even for our own little dysfunctional families!

Grace

Day ninety-eight

Every term the boys sign up for their college classes and it changes our family's schedule.  Usually we are able to make the adjustment without any problems, but this term is presenting some extra challenges. I've been trying to think of ways to help the situation, but it still doesn't feel like we've got it quite right, so I figured it is time to ask for some help.  So my prayer this morning was first filled with gratitude for my family and the opportunities that we have, and then a discussion on what's going on and our desire to work together to make the best of the situation.  I asked Him to please bless us with the wisdom we need in order for our home to be the place we need it to be, a place with less stress and more peace!  

Genesis 45:1-15

This is the moment of truth. Joseph has been working with his brothers. He has brought them to a place of conviction, compassion and confession. He has been testing them to see whether or not they have truly changed their ways. He sees that they have and he reveals himself to them.

This is a tense moment for the brothers of Joseph. Can you imagine the fear they felt as they stood before the brother they had wronged and sold as a slave all those years ago? They know who he is and they know that he has the power to send them to prison, or even to their death, if he so chooses. What happens next is a great picture of grace.

Joseph's brothers stand before him expecting and deserving punishment, but instead they receive love and mercy.

The Bible Dictionary defines grace as: “The main idea of the word is divine means of help or strength, given through the bounteous mercy and love of Jesus Christ.” (P. 697.)

To show grace is to show godly mercy and love. It makes sense that Joseph would show these godly attributes, remember he is a 'type' of Christ. His decision to show grace saved the lives of his family by bringing them salvation during the difficult time of the famine. 

I wanted to know more about how God's grace plays a part in my salvation.  I found an article in the July 1989 Ensign under the I Have a Question section on this topic.  The author, Robert E. Parsons, states six clear and simple statements regarding grace from the Book of Mormon:

1. Salvation is free to all who truly accept Christ. (2 Ne 2:4–6)

2. Though salvation is free (fully available and not withheld from anyone because of time, location, or lineage), we must reconcile ourselves to God. (2 Ne 25:23)

3. To reconcile ourselves to God, we must accept Christ as our Savior and his gospel as the means of salvation. (2 Ne 9:21-23)

4. We have agency to choose Christ and his gospel. (2 Ne 2:27)

5. We have the power to keep God’s commandments and must do so in order to be saved in his kingdom. (2 Ne 31:13-21)

6. Physical and spiritual death are both overcome for us by the atonement of Christ. (Alma 5:10-21; Hel 14:15-19)

As I read through these six points and their accompanying scriptural references I was in awe of the fact that when we are willing to do all that we can to meet the conditions for grace, "God’s grace cleanses us from our sins, gives us the gift of the Holy Ghost, and blesses us to enable us to dwell in peace and holiness in the celestial kingdom forever."  What marvelous blessings!

The article made another statement that really stood out to me: "The crowning teaching about grace is that mankind may become perfect through Christ." (Mor 10:32-33)

Wow, what amazing gifts are in the message of grace! It is a message that can change lives and brings eternal blessings. It is a message of love, mercy, and hope. We, like Joseph, have the opportunity to be an example of the message of grace to those around us.  It is a message that everyone needs to hear, and it is a message that every Christian can share!

It's Not My Fault

Day ninety-seven

Today I am thankful for more good days than bad. My attitude comes from a quote I read yesterday:

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein

I love that quote and have decided to make it my motto today!  So I thanked God for the simple truths and for all the miracles that He has put in my life and asked Him to help me to continue to see the miracles in my life everyday!

Genesis 44

Have you ever noticed that one of the most difficult tests in our lives is when things go terribly wrong through no fault of our own, and especially when we are falsely accused? (The Old Testament Made Easier)

That is the question that got me going this morning.  As I read this chapter and the story of another test that Joseph puts his brother's through, this time threatening their brother Benjamin, I couldn't help but think back to the times in my life when I was caught in a similar situation.  I think most of us have had similar "It's not my fault" experiences in our lives and have felt the humiliation, anger and pain that comes with it. How could Joseph do this to his brothers?

Joseph had set it up so that Benjamin would appear to have stolen a silver cup and would face prison and slavery in Egypt as a punishment.  In reality he was completely innocent and he was falsely accused.  The consensus is that Joseph did not do this out of revenge, but to test the hearts of his brothers, he needed to know if they had really changed.

I have been set up (interestingly enough by my brother) which led to me being falsely accused and punished. He wasn't doing it to test my heart, but out of fear that he would get in trouble. It still gets to me even though it happened so long ago, why do I still remember it like it was yesterday?  Maybe because it taught me some lessons that I have never forgotten. 

I still remember the emotions that swelled up inside me as my brother told his false story, at first I was confused because I didn't understand why he was telling them lies (what did I ever do to him?), then I got angry with him (Oh the betrayal!), and then I was afraid that my parents wouldn't believe me (why would they believe him over me?), I think that hurt the most.  Then, when it was obvious that my counter statement of "It's not my fault" was not going to work, I was crushed (why hast thou forsaken me?).  I did not go quietly into the corner, I'm pretty sure I said some mean things to my mom (like that was going to help my case!). 

I settled in the corner and changed my train of thought to revenge (welcome to the dark side).  How was I going to get back at my brother? This deed would not go unpunished on his part!  Probably not the best choice to make, but I was only seven or eight at the time.

Then one day my opportunity came about, some neighborhood kids were accusing my brother of doing something that he didn't.  This was too easy, I could just jump right in and no one would know.  As always a parent came out to investigate and listen to our statements.  I listened as the other kids told their side of the story and was ready to add my two cents when I looked up and saw my brother looking up at me with desperation in his eyes (Why did I make eye contact?!). He was about ready to cry and it was killing me.  I knew what he was feeling, I could sympathize with him, I had learned that from my own experience, and in the end I couldn't hurt him like that (I am way too soft). 

I stood up for him and for whatever reason the adult believed me this time.  As we were walking away from the other kids my brother said thank you and later (when the others couldn't see him) he gave me a hug.  For me, this experience led to a bonding moment that I still remember today. 

Although I was deeply hurt by my brothers actions, in the end it had brought us closer and had made me a better person.  I am less quick to judge others because of this experience, I want to hear both sides, and I am more sympathetic.  As I have looked back on this experience I have learned a lot about myself, I was so quick to hurt others in my moment of crisis and to seek revenge.  Thank goodness I have matured a little and have learned to be more forgiving.

Joseph and his brothers will have a similar experience, they will have their hearts touched and forever changed, and it will lead them to a closer relationship with each other. It is God's pattern to mold us through our experiences, the good and the bad. We have the choice to either learn and become a better person or turn our backs on the situation and become bitter. Knowing that the "It's not my fault" experiences are usually difficult to get through, it is nice to see that blessings do come to those that choose to learn from them.

The Best Fruits

Day ninety-six

Do you ever think to yourself "I'm a freak"?  Do you find yourself saying, "Do other people think the way I do?  Why am I so weird?"  That's how I have been feeling lately, weird.  I think it stems from the fact that I don't really understand why the Lord made me this way.  I'm not normal, I used to think I was normal, but lately it has been pointed out to me that, indeed, I am not normal.  So my prayer this morning was one of seeking understanding.  I know that He knows the grand plan for my life, would it be possible for Him to share a little bit of it with me, please?  I have no doubt that He heard my pleas this morning, I just hope that the timing is right for Him to share the answer with me.

Genesis 43

 Verses 11-13 in this chapter would spark my scripture study today:

"And their father Israel said unto them, If it must be so now, do this; take of the best fruits of the land in your vessels, and carry down the man a present, a little balm, and a little honey, spices, and myrrh, nuts, and almonds:"

 "And take double money in your hand; and the money that was brought again in the mouth of your sacks, carry it again in your hand; peradventure it was an oversight:"

"Take also your brother, and arise, go again unto the man"

Remember that as you read the story of Joseph that he is a 'type' of the Savior.  What can we learn about the gifts we should give to our Savior from these verses?

In verse 11 Jacob tells his sons to 'take of the best fruits of the land'.  This included balm, honey, spices, myrrh, nuts and almonds.  This might not seem like much to us today, but remember these people are in a serious famine, any food offering would have held more value.  But this wasn't just any food offering, it is the 'best fruits', which implies honor, respect, and loyalty to the one receiving it.

I like this statement I found in my research: "The gift Jacob sent to Joseph was a simple gift, but it was a gift fit for a king because it was the best they had. They reached into their dwindling supplies and they sent the best they possessed to Joseph." (Gifts Fit For a King)

The next gift Jacob sends with his sons is money (v 12).  He doesn't just send the cost of the grain, he sends double the amount.  Remember their money was placed back into their sacks the last time they visited Joseph, so they didn't really pay for it. Jacob wants to be known as a fair and honest man, he will pay for what he received.

The last item to be sent was Jacob's son Benjamin.  This is the most precious of the gifts that will be sent.  Jacob hesitated previously to let Benjamin go because the thought of losing another son was too painful.  This was a huge sacrifice on Jacob's part and a test of his faith.  It has a little of the same vibe as the Abraham and Isaac story.

So what have I learned about the gifts I should be giving to the Savior?

• I learned that it doesn't matter what the circumstances are at the time, I still need to give the very best of what I have.
• I need to be honest in my dealings with the Lord.
• The appropriate gifts will require some sort of sacrifice on my part.
• At times giving to the Lord can test my faith. 
• Gifts to the Lord can be simple and still have meaning.

What are some gifts that I can give to the Lord?

Food

Jacob gave gifts of food to Joseph. Food has played a part in some of the most significant events in our history.  It was the fruit that Adam and Eve ate that started the Plan of Salvation here on earth, it was the grain that Joseph stored that saved his people, and it is food (bread and water) that symbolize the body and blood of Christ in the sacrament we take each week. Their is a sacredness in food. The Lord does not need me to give Him food, but their are plenty of His children that need food.  Whether we give through charitable donations or invite others to share a meal with us, we are showing the Lord that we are grateful for what we have been given and we are willing to give to those in need.

Money 

Tithing and fast offerings come to mind (Lev. 27:30; D&C 119:4).  The Lord asks for 10% to help with His cause, it seems more than fair when you think of all the blessings that come from paying your tithing. The fast offerings are great because they can be used to help with the gift of food also (double duty).  

Time. There is a saying "Time is money." If that's true, then He should have the first part, the best part, and not just the leftovers, if there are any. He deserves the very best. I should not wear myself out doing the things I want to do, but I should devote the best of my time to Him and His will.

One of the best uses of time is Service. We are all given spiritual gifts for the benefit of all (1 Cor. 12:7-12).  When we use them to help others we are giving a gift to the Lord (Mosiah 2:17).

Family

The best gift we can give the Lord when it comes to family is to teach them the gospel.  We have been taught that we should "teach the gospel diligently unto thy children" since Old Testament times (Deut. 6:7).  Some families will be asked to send their sons and daughters on missions. To be apart for two years is a great sacrifice and can test your faith, but it is an important gift that we can give the Lord.

God is not looking for elaborate, expensive gifts. He expects us to give Him a very simple gift, the very best we have. That is all He expects, and it is a gift that everyone can give Him! Our gift might be different than someone else's, it doesn't matter, as long as it is the best fruits we have!