It's Not My Fault

Day ninety-seven

Today I am thankful for more good days than bad. My attitude comes from a quote I read yesterday:

"There are only two ways to live your life.  One is as though nothing is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle." ~ Albert Einstein

I love that quote and have decided to make it my motto today!  So I thanked God for the simple truths and for all the miracles that He has put in my life and asked Him to help me to continue to see the miracles in my life everyday!

Genesis 44

Have you ever noticed that one of the most difficult tests in our lives is when things go terribly wrong through no fault of our own, and especially when we are falsely accused? (The Old Testament Made Easier)

That is the question that got me going this morning.  As I read this chapter and the story of another test that Joseph puts his brother's through, this time threatening their brother Benjamin, I couldn't help but think back to the times in my life when I was caught in a similar situation.  I think most of us have had similar "It's not my fault" experiences in our lives and have felt the humiliation, anger and pain that comes with it. How could Joseph do this to his brothers?

Joseph had set it up so that Benjamin would appear to have stolen a silver cup and would face prison and slavery in Egypt as a punishment.  In reality he was completely innocent and he was falsely accused.  The consensus is that Joseph did not do this out of revenge, but to test the hearts of his brothers, he needed to know if they had really changed.

I have been set up (interestingly enough by my brother) which led to me being falsely accused and punished. He wasn't doing it to test my heart, but out of fear that he would get in trouble. It still gets to me even though it happened so long ago, why do I still remember it like it was yesterday?  Maybe because it taught me some lessons that I have never forgotten. 

I still remember the emotions that swelled up inside me as my brother told his false story, at first I was confused because I didn't understand why he was telling them lies (what did I ever do to him?), then I got angry with him (Oh the betrayal!), and then I was afraid that my parents wouldn't believe me (why would they believe him over me?), I think that hurt the most.  Then, when it was obvious that my counter statement of "It's not my fault" was not going to work, I was crushed (why hast thou forsaken me?).  I did not go quietly into the corner, I'm pretty sure I said some mean things to my mom (like that was going to help my case!). 

I settled in the corner and changed my train of thought to revenge (welcome to the dark side).  How was I going to get back at my brother? This deed would not go unpunished on his part!  Probably not the best choice to make, but I was only seven or eight at the time.

Then one day my opportunity came about, some neighborhood kids were accusing my brother of doing something that he didn't.  This was too easy, I could just jump right in and no one would know.  As always a parent came out to investigate and listen to our statements.  I listened as the other kids told their side of the story and was ready to add my two cents when I looked up and saw my brother looking up at me with desperation in his eyes (Why did I make eye contact?!). He was about ready to cry and it was killing me.  I knew what he was feeling, I could sympathize with him, I had learned that from my own experience, and in the end I couldn't hurt him like that (I am way too soft). 

I stood up for him and for whatever reason the adult believed me this time.  As we were walking away from the other kids my brother said thank you and later (when the others couldn't see him) he gave me a hug.  For me, this experience led to a bonding moment that I still remember today. 

Although I was deeply hurt by my brothers actions, in the end it had brought us closer and had made me a better person.  I am less quick to judge others because of this experience, I want to hear both sides, and I am more sympathetic.  As I have looked back on this experience I have learned a lot about myself, I was so quick to hurt others in my moment of crisis and to seek revenge.  Thank goodness I have matured a little and have learned to be more forgiving.

Joseph and his brothers will have a similar experience, they will have their hearts touched and forever changed, and it will lead them to a closer relationship with each other. It is God's pattern to mold us through our experiences, the good and the bad. We have the choice to either learn and become a better person or turn our backs on the situation and become bitter. Knowing that the "It's not my fault" experiences are usually difficult to get through, it is nice to see that blessings do come to those that choose to learn from them.