Discussions with God

Discussions With God

My journey to motherhood had a very rocky start. I was among the growing number of women who face infertility. For three years I went through tests, medications, and procedures to help me get pregnant.  It was a very difficult time and I was struggling to understand why God would make me go through this.  I had dreamed of being a mom my whole life and now it looked like that was not going to happen. 

At first my prayers consisted of asking my Father in Heaven for understanding, patience, and the ability to get pregnant. Then they became pleas of desperation.  Please Lord, tell me what I need to do to get pregnant! Put the right doctor in my life. Bless my body with whatever I am lacking to get pregnant.

After a year or so my prayers became more like discussions with God when it came to this topic.  I no longer held back, I shared my anger at the situation, the frustration of watching others get pregnant with ease, or seeing on the news that a child had been abused or murdered by their parent.  Why would they get a baby and I couldn’t? Lots of tears were shed and many words were said. 

When I think back on some of those discussions, I think about the honesty that I showed and how each word came from my heart.  I also see how the Lord was preparing me for the difficult tasks that lay ahead of me, including being the mother of two boys.

The day came that I did finally get pregnant and I was so excited!  I was going to be a mom! All my prayers and all the tests had worked.  My prayers were once again filled with joy…for a little while.  My body didn’t like to be pregnant.  I had a very difficult pregnancy, lots of bed rest (which I am not very good at), pills, and patience (which I am also not good at). Somehow we made it through it all and my first son was born. Oh happy day!

Next was a lesson on the Lord’s timing.  My first son was not even six months old when I became pregnant with my second son! What was that all about? Three long years for the first one and then months later I was pregnant with number two! Even the doctor’s office was surprised by the timing.  I think the response was, “Are you sure? You just had a baby!” Yep, I was pretty sure.

In my blissful ignorance of what it would mean to have two children under the age of two (and boys at that) I persevered through a second difficult pregnancy thinking how blessed I was.  My discussions with God were pretty mellow and filled with the words of gratitude. That would soon change.

Just weeks after my second son was born my husband was laid off from his job and my first son got sick with a high fever and vomiting.  As with most new moms, I was a raging hormone queen, and it didn’t take long for my discussions with God to become a little more colorful.  There was no holding back. It was pure emotion and every frustration was at the forefront of my prayers.  I needed help and I needed it to come from Him.  I prayed with the expectation that if I asked He would answer.  And you know what? He did.

My discussions with God would prove invaluable over the years of motherhood.  I have prayed for money, diapers, food, patience, talents and gifts, love, healings, friends, and so much more.  Mostly I have prayed for wisdom.  I just want to be the best mom for my boys and I have learned over the years that my strengths as a mother only come when my relationship with God is the strongest.  My greatest success as a mother happens when I am trying to parent like Heavenly Father does.  Here are a few examples of what this has done for me:

When my boys were very young I prayed about how to raise them to be great men.  It was soon after this prayer that I read an article about a mom with boys and she stated that if you want to raise gentlemen then you have to treat them that way.  It seems so simple, but at the time it was profound to me.  I thought about how God treats each of his children.  He treats me as if I am the person He knows I can be.  From that day on I addressed my boys as gentlemen and I have always had the expectation that they would behave as such.  If they don’t, they know that the wrath of mom will be upon them!

The scriptures tell us that ‘men are that they might have joy’. They also tell us that we should dance and sing.  Heavenly Father wants His children to be happy, to have a happy environment.  With that in mind, my husband and I have always tried to create a home where these things are a part of everyday life.  There are musical instruments to play, there is good music available to listen to, there are good movies to watch, good books to read, and we try to laugh every day.  For a really good laugh my husband will bust out his salsa moves every once in a while.  I love that man!

One of Heavenly Father’s parenting must haves is open communications.  He asks us to keep Him in our lives every day and to share with him our worries, our fears, as well as our joys.  For my family this has meant having Family Home Evenings together and saying family prayers.  Discussions with God are important, they help us see ourselves as He sees us.  They help us to know what we are capable of and how much He loves us.  Prayer gives us the opportunity to let Him know that we love Him and we want Him in our lives.  As a parent, there is no greater satisfaction than to see your child reach his/her potential and to want you to be a part of their lives. 

One more important thing I have learned from Heavenly Father is that the best parents lead by example.  I can’t think of one thing that my Heavenly Father has asked me to do that He wouldn’t do himself.  This became the foundation of my parenting.  I would never ask my boys to do anything that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.  If I want them to know God then I had better be getting to know God.  They need to see me praying, reading my scriptures, forgiving and loving others, teaching, and all the other good things the Lord has asked me to do. 

As a side note, I would have to say that leading by example has taught me to appreciate my children’s agency.  Choosing to do the right thing EVERY time is rough and it is even harder if you haven’t seen examples of what it means to do the right thing.  None of us is perfect, but it is a little easier to be good when you have seen the benefits of it in your own home.

There are so many more lessons I have learned through my experiences as a mother, but my discussions with God have been the keystone of the success I have had in my parenting.  It is nice to know that I am not parenting alone.  I have my husband and I have the divine guidance from a Father that loves me enough to help me through every stage of it, the joys and the sorrows, the highs and lows, the laughs and the tears. How grateful I am for such blessings!