Getting Out of the Way

Instruction and Experience

"Do you know the difference between education and experience? Education is when you read the fine print; experience is what you get when you don't." (Pete Seeger)  Oh the truth of this statement!

I have been thinking a lot about agency, in particular, the agency of my sons and what part I now play in their lives as they face the challenges of being a young adult.  This is a new stage for all of us and presents questions like; Do I give counsel without being asked?  Am I supposed to stand back and let them make choices that I know will be painful? Will they think I'm a buttinsky if I try to help? Why does it have to be so hard?  I thought it would get easier as they got older!

It did seem easier when they were younger and I felt like I could share my opinion with them, even if they didn't want to hear it.  Now I am feeling unsure about how to proceed and I am a little worried (okay, a lot worried) that I may not have prepared them enough for the experiences they are about to face.  Not all experiences are positive and some can take a lifetime to overcome. I get caught up in the "what if's".  What if they start drinking or do drugs or have premarital sex or decide not to believe in God? What then?

The mother in me asks, "How important is experience anyway?" This is my way of wanting to protect them, by not letting them have the bad experiences. I know this is not a viable option, because this would only provide them with a one sided view of reality.  The more I think about it, I come to the conclusion that it is a very selfish way to think.  Who am I really trying to save from the pain of experience; them or me?  That's when the woman in me speaks up on their behalf and says, "My greatest lessons were learned from experience." 

Do I want to take that away from them? Is receiving instruction enough? Can I force them to read the fine print? What kind of person would they be if they didn't have the opportunity to experience the good and the bad?  

 This led me to the Parable of A Child

A young school teacher had a dream that an angel appeared to him and said, "You will be given a child who will grow up to become a world leader. How will you prepare her so that she will realize her intelligence, grow in confidence, develop both her assertiveness and sensitivity, be open-minded, yet strong in character? In short, what kind of education will you provide that she can become one of the world's truly GREAT leaders?"

The young teacher awoke in a cold sweat. It had never occurred to him before -- any ONE of his present or future students could be the person described in his dream. Was he preparing them to rise to ANY POSITION to which they may aspire? He thought, 'How might my teaching change if I KNEW that one of my students were this person?' He gradually began to formulate a plan in his mind.

This student would need experience as well as instruction. She would need to know how to solve problems of various kinds. She would need to grow in character as well as knowledge. She would need self-assurance as well as the ability to listen well and work with others. She would need to understand and appreciate the past, yet feel optimistic about the future. She would need to know the value of lifelong learning in order to keep a curious and active mind. She would need to grow in understanding of others and become a student of the spirit. She would need to set high standards for herself and learn self discipline, yet she would also need love and encouragement, that she might be filled with love and goodness.

His teaching changed. Every young person who walked through his classroom became, for him, a future world leader. He saw each one, not as they were, but as they could be. He expected the best from his students, yet tempered it with compassion. He taught each one as if the future of the world depended on his instruction.

After many years, a woman he knew rose to a position of world prominence. He realized that she must surely have been the girl described in his dream. Only she was not one of his students, but rather his daughter. For of all the various teachers in her life, her father was the best.

I've heard it said that "Children are living messages we send to a time and place we will never see." But this isn't simply a parable about an unnamed school teacher. It is a parable about you and me -- whether or not we are parents or even teachers. And the story, OUR story, actually begins like this:

"You will be given a child who will grow up to become...." You finish the sentence. If not a world leader, then a superb father? An excellent teacher? A gifted healer? An innovative problem solver? An inspiring artist? A generous philanthropist?

What will you be willing to do to prepare this child?

I had been pondering that thought during the week.  Even part of my prayers each day had been dedicated to this topic. I was in need of some guidance to help me make this transition with some grace. The Lord did not let me down.  My answer came from an unexpected source, my son, the very person I was praying about. It seems the Lord appreciates irony.

My son taught our FHE lesson this week and he chose the topic of agency. He said that it had been on his mind lately. (I love the way that God works in so many lives at one time!)  I can understand his concerns, his world has been expanding with new people, situations, and information through work and school, and he is facing challenges to his faith in new and sometimes difficult ways. I think most Christian young adults find themselves in this situation. 

During his lesson he expressed concerns about the way agency had been taught to him. In the church we often talk about having agency and how important it is, but there is a lack of information on how to apply it in the moments we are tested. The focus is usually on the why you shouldn't do it, but the how to face the situation is sometimes not given an equal amount of time.  He wished that there would have been more taught on the 'how' part.  Things like: How to talk yourself into the right choice; how to look at the situation from all perspectives; how to deal with the emotions you feel when you are in the situation, and how to get out of a bad situation with your dignity intact.

He shared with us two examples that have challenged him lately:  Working on Sundays and Word of Wisdom temptations.

Working on Sundays
He was originally hired for the Monday through Thursday slot washing dishes.  The hours were good, but he didn't really enjoy the job.  So when a wait-staff position opened he was thrilled that he could move up. The catch was that he would have to work on a few Sundays.  At the time he didn't think this would be such a big deal, but now he is starting to feel the impact of not participating in the sacrament and the blessings that come from that. 

As parents we had cautioned him that working on Sundays would take its toll.  He wasn't disrespectful, he listened to our counsel, but he couldn't truly understand the consequences of this choice.  He didn't have anything to compare it too. He has always had the opportunity to attend church, it was never an issue. It wasn't until he had an actual experience with it that he began to understand it.  A real life experience that made him think about what he had been taught and required him to stop and think about the real life consequences of that action. That's what it took for him to see the wisdom in not working on the Sabbath.  He is not alone, I often find myself in that same situation: I have been warned, but I still have to learn it the hard way. It seems to be part of human nature.

I think Tom Bodett captured this brilliantly when he said,  "In school, you are taught a lesson, then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson."

Word of Wisdom Temptations
Although I am sad that he is now having to deal with the consequences of his choice, I am also grateful for it.  The Sunday situation has taught him a lesson: think about all the consequences before you act.  This would come in handy for his next challenge: To drink or not to drink coffee. 

When faced with this challenge he would stop and think about the consequences before jumping in.  I think this challenge was even tougher than the working on Sundays challenge because no one would have known that he had drank the coffee, it could be his secret. He was able to draw on his personal experience and make the right decision. I was so impressed that he didn't drink the coffee and even more impressed that he was willing to share his story with his family. It was a good lesson for all of us to hear. 

As a parent and teacher I wish that it was as easy as the verses in Proverbs make it sound: 

Proverbs 12:15: “Fools think their own way is right, but the wise listen to advice.”

Proverbs 15:22: “Without counsel, plans go wrong, but with many advisers they succeed.”

Proverbs 27:17: “Iron sharpens iron, and one person sharpens the wits of another.”

I think of all the heartache that could be avoided if we would simply learn from the experiences of others. Every experience we could possibly have is in the scriptures, wouldn't it be great if we could absorb the lessons without having to experience them for ourselves? But there is the catch, it took experience for the people of the scriptures to learn their lessons, why would it be any different for us? 

I am continuing to learn that instruction is not enough, to truly have something mean enough to have a place in our hearts it requires experience. We have a need to attach an emotion to the lesson, whether it be a positive emotion or a negative emotion. It is part of what we draw on when we face the decisions and challenges that come with everyday life. 

Earlier in this post I asked, "How important is experience anyway?" It was my selfish question.  My way of trying to justify my desire to save my children and myself the heartache of experience.  I now realize that if I truly love my children I will want them to have the chance to experience the consequences of their choices.  They too need the opportunity to learn that instruction and experience work hand in hand to help build their character.  If they are to become the people that God needs them to be, it will require them to have experiences, both positive and negative. I need to trust that the Lord knows what he is doing and that my sons will make more good decisions than bad. 

I will still be there for them when they need me, whether that be giving them advice or helping them pick up the pieces.  But I will evaluate the situation a little differently than I have in the past, instead of asking, "What I am supposed to do?" I think I will ask, "Will I be getting in the way?" It appears that sometimes the best choice I can make is simply getting out of the way!

Seeing the White Rabbit

Faith

One day, a young disciple of Christ desirous of wanting to fully receive all that God had for him visited the home of an elderly Christian. He had heard that this old man had never lost his first love for Christ over all the years.

When he arrived the elderly man was sitting on the porch with his dog taking in a beautiful sunset. The young man posed this question:

"Why is it sir, that most Christians zealously chase after God during the first year or two after their conversion, but then fall into a complacent ritual of church once or twice a week and they end up not looking any different than their neighbors who aren’t even Christians?
I have heard you are not like that."

The old man smiled and replied, "Let me tell you a story: One day I was sitting here quietly in the sun with my dog.  Suddenly a large white rabbit ran across in front of us.

Well, my dog jumped up, and took off after that big rabbit. He chased the rabbit over the hills with a passion.

Soon, other dogs joined him, attracted by his barking.

What a sight it was, as the pack of dogs ran barking across the creeks, up stony embankments and through thickets and thorns!

Gradually, however, one by one, the other dogs dropped out of the pursuit, discouraged by the course and frustrated by the chase. Only my dog continued to hotly pursue the white rabbit."

"In that story, young man, lies the answer to your question." The young man sat in confused silence.

Finally, he said, "Sir, I don’t understand. What is the connection between the rabbit chase and the quest for God?"

"You fail to understand," answered the well-seasoned old man, "because you failed to ask the obvious question. Why didn’t the other dogs continue on the chase? And the answer to that question is that they had not seen the rabbit."  

"Brother unless you see the prize, the chase is just too difficult. You will lack the faith, the passion and determination necessary to keep up the chase."  (Unknown Author)

There are a few things that stood out to me in this parable: The dog chased after the white rabbit; the chase was filled with obstacles; discouragement and frustration would thin the pack; and the dog was not distracted.

Have you ever been guilty of chasing someone else's rabbit?  I have.  When I first started growing my testimony I relied on the enthusiasm and faith of others. I looked to them as examples and emulated what they did in hopes of having faith like theirs. 

There is a problem with this strategy:  When your back is up against the wall and the people you rely on for your faith aren't around, you lose focus.  The white rabbit isn't there for you to chase, because you never saw it in the first place. I was so busy focused on following the things that they were doing that I never took the time to stop and figure out what it really meant to me.  This would cause some serious difficulties in my spiritual life.

Obstacles
My biggest challenge with faith came when I was nineteen years old. I was the victim of a sex crime that was both physically and emotionally damaging.  My relationship with God would spiral downward for a year and half. When I should have leaned on the Lord the most, I turned away, feeling forsaken and without focus.

I thought I had a strong relationship with God before this happened, but I would learn that it would take more than going through the motions to have enough faith to get me through this.  I knew that God was there, but at the time I didn't have the faith to know that He was REALLY there for ME.  I was so focused on the "Why would He let this happen to me?" that it took me a while to figure out that I should have been asking, "How can His love for me heal me?"

During the year and a half it took me to rebuild my faith, the Lord placed people in my life that helped me put things in perspective. There is one person that stands above the rest, I don't remember her name, but I do remember her story, because it was in such contrast to mine.

The story is of a women who was diagnosed with terminal cancer. She didn't turn her back on God, but instead showed Job-like faith in her battle (which she said she learned from reading the Book of Job many times) and she prayed to God daily thanking Him for the many blessings He had given her.  She didn't look at her cancer as a terrible thing, but instead saw in this challenge the confidence that God was showing in her ability to love Him in spite of the difficulties of the situation. She was dying, yet her faith was growing. She knew what the white rabbit meant and she kept her eye on it til the very end.  She would lose her battle with cancer, but her example of faith inspires me still.   

Discouragement and Frustration
Years later I would find out that the physical injuries I had sustained during the crime would make conceiving a child difficult.  This would be another hurdle for my faith.  Like many little girls all over the world I had dreamed of being a mom someday and now it looked like that wasn't going to happen.  By this time in my life my faith had strengthened, but was it up to the required amount needed to pull me through infertility? I would like to say that I was able to deal with the situation perfectly and never lost focus of the eternal perspective, but, as usual, I did not show the grace I could have.

Again the Lord helped me with my perspective. There were other couples that were struggling with infertility in our area.  There is one particular couple that touched my heart and inspired me because they never gave up.  They would fight this battle for twelve years before their son was born.  As I watched them I came to realize that they had an amazing desire to live the commandments.  Their hope was that through obedience they would receive the blessings they desired.  They would not drop out of the chase, they would keep focused on the prize and do it faithfully. This example of faith in God's promises helped me to make changes in my own life so that I too might be worthy of the blessings I was asking for. Their example kept me in the chase.

Distractions
It is so easy to be distracted by the wants of the world. We are bombarded daily with messages to entice us away from our spiritual self and more to the natural man. I am not immune to the power of distractions.  More than once I have found myself wanting acceptance from others or more possessions.  I have crossed over the line and had to find my way back. Life experience has taught me that these types of distractions have painful consequences.

I have watched many people in my life give into worldly pressures because it promised them money, power, and acceptance. Their focus became alcohol, drugs, gambling, or sex and cost them their families, jobs, and for some, their lives. My family has experienced the loss of a loved one due to the inability of others to stay focused on what matters.  My grandfather was killed by a drunk driver.

There is truth in the words of the prophets to avoid these temptations.   Nothing good comes from them. The white rabbits of the world only lead to temporary happiness and distract us from the real focus, eternal life with our Father in Heaven and our Savior Jesus Christ. This may seem a narrow focus to the world, but if we can stick with it we are promised endless possibilities.  We need to make sure we are chasing the right white rabbits. 

The Chase
I would one day have the children that I prayed for.  Little did I know that it would be my child that would cause me to pause in my faith yet one more time.  My youngest son would struggle with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder after a terrible car accident we were in.  He would suffer from depression and thoughts of suicide during his battle to control these emotions.  At one point I became so concerned that I didn't sleep, but sat up at night to watch him. 

On one such night I had a real heart to heart with God.  I found myself drifting into the "why would you let this happen" way of thinking.  The thought of losing this precious child consumed me. It would have been easy to be angry with God, but I was different this time.  My faith had been tested many times prior to this occasion, and I was stronger than I had ever been.  This was a turning point for me in my journey of faith, this time I would keep chasing the white rabbit, I would keep my focus, and I would do so with more passion and determination than ever before.

Where did this strength come from?  What was different about this time?  There are a few things that I attribute to the strength of my faith:

1) I was praying daily 

As I prayed daily I started to see that God was listening to and answering my prayers. It is difficult to be ungrateful when you see so many blessings in your life. With gratitude in my heart I came to have a confidence in God's ability to answer even my most difficult requests.

2) I was really studying the scriptures every day

When my faith is faltering I read the Book of Job and find strength in knowing that God has confidence in me to bear the burdens. The Book of Psalms helps me see that my problems aren't as bad as they could be, the Four Gospels teach me that my Savior and Heavenly Father love me, and the scriptures as a whole help me to see that hope comes from having faith.

3) I was actively looking for examples of faith in my life
I was seeking God in my life. I was constantly asking myself what could I learn from the people He placed in my life or the situations that I found myself in? I was pursuing faith, not waiting for it to come to me.

4) I decided to focus on God's will and not my own
This is the fastest way I know to change my perspective.  When I focus on what God wants and not what I want there comes a peace and calm that envelopes my whole being.  My worries fade and my desire to do my part increases.  The focus shifts from me and my problems and on to how God is working through me.


Finding faith is a personal journey. Chasing someone else's rabbit won't cut it, like the story says, the discouragement and frustration becomes too difficult to continue. Finding the right white rabbit to chase has taken me a lifetime and a lot of heartache, but the important thing is that I am still on the chase!  

A Quiet Miracle

Conversion

"There is a no miracle like the miracle of conversion.  It is the great process by which those with responsive hearts listen to the teachings and testimonies of missionaries and change their lives, leaving the past behind them, and moving forward into a new life.  There is no miracle quite like it in all the world."  (Gordon B. Hinckley Stand A Little Taller, p 30)  

"Although conversion is miraculous and life changing, it is a quiet miracle." (Study by topic)

These two quotes got me thinking about the miracles I have witnessed through my own conversion story and from those around me.  I think sometimes we get so busy looking for external miracles that we forget to look for the miracles inside of us.  I want to take a closer look at the topic of conversion and use this opportunity to stop and focus on the quiet miracles happening within.

Miracle 1 - Knowing Who I Am

• Conversion begins with the understanding that you are a child of God.

"I have said, Ye are gods; and all of you are children of the most High" (Ps. 82:6)

Part of the conversion process is learning of God and our relationship with Him. I was fortunate to be taught from a young age that I am a child of God. I am more than just another human being wondering the Earth, I am a child of loving Heavenly Parents.  It was so easy to believe this when I was a child and the world seemed like such a happy place.  However, the world only allows us a short time to stay in that innocent state and then it comes at us in full force.

It is in these times of attack that our belief can either dwindle and disappear or it can become something more than just believing; it becomes knowing. The conversion from believing to knowing that my Father in Heaven and my savior, Jesus Christ, love me was a quiet miracle that happened within.  There wasn't a lot of fanfare or a major event that occurred to bring this about, it was just a quiet prompting from the Spirit that settled in my heart and has never left.

This miracle of knowing who I am has been a huge part of my life.  I have leaned on that knowledge many times when I was feeling unloved by the people around me. I have been blessed with many trials in my life, some of them would have led me down a different path had I not understood who I am.  This miracle saved me from what I could have become had I not had the assurance that God loves me and knows me personally. Instead of a life filled with confusion and sorrow, I have been blessed with direction and joy. For that I am eternally grateful.

Take a moment and think about what miracles have come to your life because you learned that you are a child of God.  Would you be the person you are today without those miracles?

Miracle 2 - Having a Purpose

• Conversion denotes changing one’s views, in a conscious acceptance of the will of God.

"Will ye accept his person? will ye contend for God?...Though he slay me, yet will I trust in him." (Job 13:8, 15)

I love the words of Job.  He has an amazing ability to see things with a clarity that I sometimes lack.  His trust in the Lord's will is astounding considering all that he had been through.  He understood that even if God were to kill him, it would serve a purpose.  What a miracle to view your life, no matter how difficult it is at times, as fulfilling a part of God's great plan!

The world is filled with people telling you what your purpose is or should be.  The problem with listening to the world is that before you can fulfill one purpose, the world has changed and requires something different from you. At times this can cause a lot of confusion and unhappiness in our lives. A person can begin to fill like the world will use you up if you let it.

The change of looking at our purpose from a worldly perspective to a more divine, eternal perspective brings with it consistency and clarity.  God's expectations are the same for each of us, He wants us to trust Him and in return He will bless us and those we come in contact with.  There are no secret agendas; just plain and simple truths that He gives to all His children.

The Lord does not ask us to do things that He would not do Himself and He doesn't expect us to make up a plan as we go. He gives us the plan, we just have to read the scriptures and ask for His guidance to find it.  The real challenge is accepting what He wants us to do and doing it.  That is how we measure how committed we are to the Lord.  That is how we know that our views have been changed. That is when we know that the miracle of conversion has occurred, when we willingly set aside our own desires to fulfill the Lord's will.  What an awesome miracle we can have in our daily lives; knowing that we are important to God's plan and that He will bless us if we follow it. 

The miracle of having a purpose blesses the life of every convert. How has it blessed your life?  Can you see the benefits of knowing your purpose rather than groping around in the world trying to find a purpose?

Miracle 3 - Becoming New Again

• If followed by continued faith in the Lord Jesus Christ, repentance, baptism in water for the remission of sins, and the reception of the Holy Ghost by the laying on of hands, conversion will become complete, and will change a natural man into a sanctified, born again, purified person—a new creature in Christ Jesus.

"Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." ( 2 Cor 5:17)

This is one of the greatest miracles that comes from letting the Lord into your heart. The label 'sinner' belongs to all of us and should make us feel uncomfortable. But the Lord has provided a way for those that choose to keep Him in their hearts (to be converted), to overcome the natural man, to have a fresh start, to become a new, purified person. It is through the Atonement, which Christ took upon himself, that we can be forgiven and made whole again. 

The miracle of repentance can make an earthly man, heavenly; a carnal man, spiritual; a proud man, humbled, a loose man, precise; a covetous man, liberal; a harsh man, meek; a weak man, strong; and a sorrowful man, joyful. Did you notice that these are all behaviors that come from within? There is power in the miracle of the Atonement to quietly change the inner man. What can compare to that?

Miracle 4 - Trials and Testing

• Complete conversion comes after many trials and much testing.

 "And after their temptations, and much tribulation, behold, I, the Lord, will feel after them, and if they harden not their hearts, and stiffen not their necks against me, they shall be converted, and I will heal them. (D&C 112:12–13).

Earlier in this blog I stated that I have been blessed with many trials in my life.  I have come to see them as miracles because it is through the trials and testing that I come closer to the miracle of reaching perfection. 

We are constantly in the process of being perfected. Perfection does not come without a refining process. Facing the world and all it has to offer, both good and evil, is part of that process. It is through our refining that the miracles of discernment, faith, mercy, hope, compassion, and charity become a part of our very beings, a part of our soul. And although we may go through this life kicking and screaming through the rough times, the refinement part takes place in the quiet moments when we are still. It is then that the Spirit testifies to us that we are not alone, that God is with us, and He will not leave us. Part of being perfected is the ability to love the Lord during all the times in our lives, both good and bad.

As we learn to accept God in our lives we learn to lean on Him for help to overcome the temptations and trials in this life. There are situations put into our lives that we will never overcome on our own.  We were never meant to face them alone; we were meant to learn from them and see the power of God working through them. This is not an easy thing to do.  We tend to be slow learners and require a lot of repetition before the lessons are etched in our hearts. I think it is a miracle that God does not give up on us, but keeps giving us chances to be refined.     

We all have the miracle of trial and testing in our lives.  Take a moment to reflect on all that you have faced in your life and and ask yourself: What miracles have I seen in myself because of the trials I have overcome? 

Miracle 5 - A Desire to Share 

• To labor for the conversion of one’s self and others is a noble task.

"But I have prayed for thee, that thy faith fail not: and when thou art converted, strengthen thy brethren." (Luke 22:32)

One of the most amazing miracles of true conversion is when you experience the miracles of knowing who you are, what your purpose is, being new again, and personal growth through trials and testing, you begin to see that a life with God included in it is so much better than one without, and, you start to think about how the people around you could benefit from having God in their lives.     

What is it that happens within us that makes us want to share the good news of Christ?  For me it is the compassion and charity that comes from becoming closer to God.  I feel the unconditional love and hope that comes with loving the Lord and I want others to know that they can have it too.

We all have people in our lives that are experiencing grief, guilt, loneliness, and despair.  The miracle of conversion is that we no longer can turn away from these people, but have a desire to help them. We desire to share their burdens, to make them lighter. It is no longer about one person, but about all people as a whole. 

I have had the opportunity to be on both sides of this situation and I am so grateful for the comfort that comes when another shares my burdens and also for the joy that comes when I share their burdens.  It is in those moments that I feel closer to God than at any other time.

Can you see the perfection in this miracle?  We become stronger in our faith and closer to God when we care for others.  All parties benefit. What a great miracle! 

I am so grateful for this opportunity to stop and look at the miracles in my life that have come because of my own conversion process.  I am still a work in progress and taking these moments to see how the Lord has quietly worked in me and through me has strengthened my testimony of His goodness and love for all His children.  I hope it will do the same for you.   

To Fight or Embrace

Change...

"It is not the strongest of the species
that survives, nor the most intelligent,
but the one most responsive to change.”
~ Charles Darwin

It seems that the only constant thing in my life lately is change. (I do get the irony of that statement.) So much change, in so many ways, all at one time! There is some good changes, and some bad, some that came suddenly, and some that crept in gradually. Some of the changes are of a trivial matter and others earthshaking. There have been internal changes (a change of heart) and external changes (job opportunities, people that we meet, etc). Change is going on everywhere!

The problem with change is that often we cannot control what the change will be, how it will manifest itself, when it will come, and where it will happen. Because of this, change in life is difficult. One author wrote, "Change is an inseparable part of human existence, and those who can never reconcile themselves to its reality will find themselves dwelling in a perpetual fantasyland." (David S. King, Dealing Successfully with Change). There are some days that I might prefer the fantasyland to reality!

We all want our times of change to be easier. No matter what our life circumstances may be, as long as we can get by with what we have, we prefer not to change. We prefer to hold on to what we know. It's comfortable there and we know what to expect. There are days when I would be ever so grateful for a day where nothing changed and all went as planned. However, the Lord seems to think I need to be pushed a little more. 

Now I am not adverse to most change, in fact, I am one of those people that likes change. But it is usually change that I am in control of like moving the furniture, painting the house, or cutting my hair. It is when I am pushed out of my comfort zone that the fight begins. The gloves come off and I am ready to duke it out. "You can't make me change" is the motto during these times. Moving beyond my comfort zone is uncomfortable and takes work. Who has the time or energy for change like that? 

With a lifetime of change to look back upon I have learned a few things: change is going to happen whether I want it too or not and sometimes fighting it takes more energy than embracing it. 

Sometimes my stubbornness can get the best of me. This is unfortunate, because it leads me down a path where I have to lose what I have in order to accept the change. Some people have to hit bottom before they grow, change, or get better. I am usually not so opposed to change that I have to lose everything before I embrace it, but the deterioration factor related to change makes not wanting to change a huge barrier to my progression.

It is interesting to me that as human beings our tendencies lead us to more of a fight position instead of an embrace of change. We are reluctant to change even the negative things about our lives sometimes. Think of all the addiction problems that we have in society or the abuse that is rampant. What about all those bad habits that we hold on to? Why are we so adverse to change? It's not like we didn't know that change would happen while we were here on earth. 

The scriptures tell us that when we accept Christ we will undergo a change: "Therefore if any man be in Christ, he is a new creature: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Cor 5:17)

Becoming something new requires change. And as a Christian trying to become this new creature change will be an ever present part of our lives: 

"For if ye throughly amend your ways and your doings..." (Jeremiah 7:5) 

"And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God." (Romans 12:2)

Amend and transform; two words that scream change! The Lord is always putting us in a position to change for the better; the only thing holding us back is US! That statement brought to mind a ton of questions:

What if being too comfortable is a sign that we need to make a change? What if complacency means that we aren’t thinking big enough or stepping outside of our comfort zone as often as we should be? What if being comfortable means that we are not challenging ourselves to accomplish all that we could accomplish? What if it means we are selling ourselves short?

It's the last question that really got to me because if I am selling myself short, then I am also selling my family short, my community short and most of all the Lord. YIKES! Is this a fair price for my fears and insecurities? I think not.

So what am I going to do to embrace the changes in my life? There are a million websites out there with lists of ways to embrace change, but I want to keep it simple. I don't want to have to remember 10 steps that I should go through to embrace change. Instead I think I want to focus on one thing when it comes to change: How will this change in my life help the Lord's work? 

I like this because it takes the focus off of me and puts it where it should be, on God and His awesome plan! It's not all about me and my comfort zone; it is much bigger and much more important than that. It is about allowing me the opportunity to become someone that God can work through. Allowing me to be a part of His plan in a positive way.

I find myself wondering, "Why was I fighting change?" It's amazing how putting the focus in the right place gives me so much more confidence to face the changes in my life. Well look at that, I think I just had a change of heart!