Rejection - Peers

Day two hundred fifty-one

I am so grateful for my friends today.  I do not have a lot of close friends, but the ones I do have are there for me.  They make me a better person and inspire me.  Thank you Heavenly Father for my dear friends!

1 Samuel 29 David Rejected by the Philistines

In chapter 29 we find David still living among the Philistines.  The Philistines have gathered for war against Israel and David is there ready to fight on the Philistine's side.  I know it seems wrong for him to be fighting his own people, especially in alliance with the enemy.   But David's story isn't so different from a story of my own.

When I was younger I didn't have many friends in my church group.  I never really fit in, I was different.  My family did not share one religion, but two and some people weren't comfortable with that.  Especially when the second religion wasn't Christian based.  The one place you would expect Christ like behavior, I didn't find it. I was rejected by my own people.  

So I found what I thought was a pretty good group of friends among other Christians.  We were a mix of different religious backgrounds and social status, but we made it work.  There was a respect for each other and we were pretty nonjudgmental.  There were people in my church that struggled with the fact that I didn't want to hang out with the youth in my church.  They would say things to me that would mock my friend’s religion and make me feel like a traitor to my own religion.  I stood up for my friends.  But in some peoples’ minds I was in alliance with the other side. 

Then one day a new Christian church came to town that didn't really care for my religious views and things changed quickly.  Some of my friends became my enemies.  They were being told that to remain my friend was wrong and that they should avoid all members of my church.  Now even the enemies didn't want me in their group!  I was a complete reject at this point.

David faced the same challenge.  The Philistine leaders don't want him there.  The tell Achish to send David away.  David says the same thing I did, “What did I do?".  They didn't want David there because he was an Israelite and they feared that it would cause problems on the battle field. They rejected David for who he was.

Being rejected by your peers is hard.  It makes you feel unloved, worthless, lonely, and all sorts of other bad feelings.  How we react to such experiences says a lot about us.  Remember Saul's rejection and his reaction? Not the best example to follow.  So how does David react?  He listens to Achish and leaves.  There isn't any back-biting, gossiping, or arguing, he and his men rise in the morning and leave.  

I wish I could say that I have always made the right decision when it comes to being rejected, but there are times when I secretly wished for revenge.  That says a lot about where my heart was at the time and my maturity level.  I have often let my emotions get the best of me.  It has taken many years and lots of experience for me to have any control over the way I react.  I imagine that is why David reacted wisely in this situation; he had lots of experience with being rejected by his peers.

There is a quote that I found while studying this chapter that I really liked:

"Bitter experience has taught us how fundamental our values are and how great the mission they represent." ~ Jan Peter Balkenende

David will find that being rejected by the Philistines was actually a blessing because there was a greater need for him at home.  I also found that these bitter experiences of rejection had a purpose, they strengthened my character.  I learned to stand up for myself and to not be ashamed of who and what I was.  My testimony was tried in these times and I had to figure out for myself what I truly believed.  These were the times when my relationship with my Heavenly Father grew stronger because I had to lean on Him for comfort. But most of all it taught me to let go and move on.  I think that was one of the toughest lessons I had to learn. 

I have a better understanding of the purpose of rejection after studying the last two chapters. Rejection is just one way that the Lord prepares and tests us. I still find it a little bitter-sweet, but I am grateful for the growing experience.