A Change of Heart

Day two hundred thirty-seven

What a crazy week!  I have had some long days that started at 5am and didn't end until 10:30 or 11pm.  Along with these crazy hours came a tiredness that made it hard to keep my eyes open.  I found a scripture this week that became my motto:

"But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk, and not faint." (Isaiah 40:31)

So as I awoke yesterday to a day of work I prayed to have my strength renewed.  He must have heard me because I survived a busy 8 hour shift, in a building without air conditioning, and filled with smokey haze from the wildfires. I am grateful for His help!

1 Samuel 13 Saul's Fall
At this point in the scriptures we are about 2 years into the reign of King Saul.  He seemed to be doing pretty good, but things are about to change.  Saul is going to cross some boundaries and it will change everything.

Imagine that you are the leader of your people and your enemy shows up to fight with 30,000 chariots, 6,000 horsemen, and so many people that they are counted as the sand on the seashore.  When your people see this they become 'distressed' and hide themselves in caves, thickets, rocks, high places, and in pits.  To top it off the prophet tells you to wait 7 days and then he will come to help with the situation.

What thoughts would go through your mind?  I admit I would be freaking out a little.  I would probably be playing the possible scenario's in my head over and over again wondering am I going to die!  The appropriate response would be to trust that the Lord and His prophet know what they are doing and follow the plan.

Saul faced this very situation with the Philistines and he does follow the plan for a while, but something happens that pushes him to take action, even though he isn't qualified to do so.  In verse 8 we read that Saul did wait the 7 days, but Samuel doesn't show up at the appointed time and the people start to leave Saul.  This is a tough spot to be in.  It is one of those defining moments in a person's life where their true character comes through.  Unfortunately, Saul lets his fear take over his heart and the flaws in his character are what shows through.

Saul gets impatient and decides to perform the burnt offering himself.  There is a huge problem with this, he doesn't have the appropriate priesthood authority to do this, therefore he has stepped into the realm of unrighteous dominion (13:9 a,b). He has stepped over the boundaries of his power and yet when questioned about it Saul doesn't seem to understand the severity of the situation. 

After Saul makes the offering Samuel shows up and he wants to know what Saul has done.  There is something missing in Saul's response, see if you can find it:

"And Saul said, Because I saw that the people were scattered from me, and that thou camest not within the days appointed, and that the Philistines gathered themselves together ... Therefore said I, The Philistines will come down now upon me to Gilgal, and I have not made supplication unto the Lord: I forced myself therefore, and offered a brunt offering."   (13:11-12)

A Change of Heart
I read verses 11 and 12 a couple of times looking for remorse, sorrow, or any type of apology, but it isn't there.  That's what's missing. Saul's heart has come to be an example of what is described in D&C 121:35-36 as "their hearts set so much upon the things of this world, and aspire to the honors of men, that they do not learn this one lesson-- That the rights of the priesthood are inseparably connected with the powers of heaven, and that the powers of heaven cannot be controlled nor handled only upon the principles of righteousness."

Saul no longer has the heart of a servant of the Lord and therefore Samuel tells him that "the Lord will seek another man after his own heart" to replace him ( 13:13-14).  This is a great reminder to me to be aware of where my own heart lies.  Do I have the heart of a servant of the Lord?  I want to say yes, but the truth is I still let fear and worry into my heart every now and then.  I am working on building my character so that my heart will always lead to the Lord's way, it is a long, hard journey, but the consequences of a negative change of heart are too grim to give up. There is a scripture in Proverbs that I really like that has to do with the heart:

"Keep thy heart with all diligence; for out of it are the issues of life."  (Pro 4:23)

Saul is an example of the principle behind that verse.  His change of heart will lead to some serious issues in his life.  I am choosing to learn from Saul's mistakes to prevent such issues from popping up in my life.  It gives a whole new meaning to having a healthy heart!