Improving Relationships

Day one hundred ninety-two

I woke up to the song "Lead Me" this morning.  The singer's plea is for the Lord to lead him and help him be all that he needs to be becuase he can't do it alone.  That seemed a fitting topic to start my day with and so my prayer was a plea that the Lord would lead me in all that I do today and that I would listen and follow.  The great thing is I know that He will be there for me!
Joshua 22

At this point we find Israel resting from battle, settling into their inheritance lands, and enjoying the blessings of the Lord (Joshua 21:43).  However, there are those among the Israelites that travelled from the other side of the Jordan to help their brethren secure the land of Canaan and they need to be excused from their duties and sent home.  These would be the tribes of Reuben, Gad, and the half tribe of Manasseh. These soldiers  must have desired to return to the families that they missed, yet like good soldiers, they would not move until they had orders from their general. The story of their dismissal provides an opportunity for us to learn some great lessons on maintaining and improving relationships.  

5 lessons found in Joshua 22: 

1. Focus on what is right with others over what is wrong (vv 1-4, 6).
Joshua knew the importance of giving credit to others when that credit was due. Before parting company with the 2.5 tribes of the Reubenites, the Gadites, and half tribe of Mannasseh, Joshua speaks of their faithfulness.

“What a great tribute to these soldiers from the eastern tribes. For several years they had sacrificed themselves to stand with their brothers and fight for land that they would not possess themselves. They had been away from their families and risked their own lives. They deserved to be commended for their work – and Joshua did just that.” ~Max Anders

Are you a better person when you are griped at or when you feel appreciated? I have found that nothing improves peoples hearing more than praise! Joshua could have condemned this group because they were moving away from the original crew, instead he pointed out their faithfulness, loyalty to the Lord and others, and he sends them away with the blessing of the Lord.

Are there people in our lives that could use more praise and less criticism?  I think we all could!  The next question would be, am I focusing on the right or wrong in people?  For me, the answer to this question provides a chance to improve myself in my quest to help others.     

2. Invite the Lord into your relationships (v 5).
Joshua understood the principle that our relationships with others are stronger when we keep the Lord in our own lives.  With this in mind he gave the following advice to the 2.5 tribes, “But take careful heed to do the commandment and the law which Moses the servant of the Lord commanded you, to love the Lord your God, to walk in all his ways, to keep His commandments, to hold fast to Him, and to serve Him with all your heart and with all your soul” (v 5).

No true Christian wants their walk with the Lord to grow weaker over time, rather the desire is to grow stronger in the Lord. A relationship with the Lord does take effort and means having the Lord active in your life. Think of it like this, how could a husband and wife have a great marriage if each talked to each other, but didn’t take time to listen to each other? We want God to listen to us, so we need to listen to Him. When we strengthen our own relationship with the Lord we are able to make the most impact on others.  

This made me think, are there things in my life I need to do to improve my relationship with God so that I can be more effective in the lives of others?    

3. Take time to talk to people rather than about them (vv 10-32).
The 9.5 tribes on the west side of Canaan caught rumor that the 2.5 east side tribes of Canaan had gotten involved in building an altar. The western tribes believed that the eastern tribes were rebelling against God so they prepared to go to war against their brethren.  Fortunately, they decided to send a few men to go and ask about the situation before taking any action. The accused tribes made it clear that they weren’t setting up a rival religion because the altar they built wasn’t for sacrifices. Rather, they were putting up a witness that would remind the tribes of the Jordan that Reuben, Gad, and Manasseh were a part of the Jewish nation.

This brought to mind something I once read about this type of situation:  "I am more deadly than the screaming shell of the cannon. I win without killing. I tear down homes, break hearts, wreck lives. I travel on the wings of the wind. No innocence is strong enough to intimidate me, no purity pure enough to daunt me. I have no regard for truth, no respect for justice, no mercy for the defenseless. My victims are as numerous as the sands of the sea and often as innocent. I never forget and seldom forgive. My name is Gossip." ~Morgan Blake, sportswriter for the Atlanta Journal.

This is such a powerful message! Rumors and gossip never end well, it is always better, no matter how awkward it is, to go to the source. 

4. Admit when you are wrong (v 31).
It is interesting that as quickly as the 9.5 tribes were to judge the actions of the 2.5 tribes, they were just as quick to admit that they were wrong.  Instead of making excuses or covering up their mistake, they looked upon their brethren's innocence as a token of God's presence.  How many of us see God in the times when we must admit that we made a mistake?  What a great lesson!

5. Be willing to move past misunderstandings and follow God (vv 32 - 33).
“Peace, combined with truth, is the highest priority; without truth, it is compromise. Truth without a desire for peace is brittle legalism. Jesus said, “Blessed is the peacemaker.” Nothing pleases God more than when His people seek truth and peace and when He sees the war fever between brothers and sisters turn to joy and understanding. This is worth our every effort.” ~John Huffman

It is well that there was on both sides a disposition to peace, as there was a zeal for God; and quarrels about religion, for want of wisdom and love, often prove the most fierce and difficult to be made up.  History has proven this time and time again.

How would the world change if everyone would learn to copy the example of Israel in their desire to stay united and their adherence to the cause of truth, with candour, meekness, and readiness to understand each other?  I would sure like to find out!