Characteristics of Good Men

Day fifty-three

I have been thinking a lot about being a better example to those around me.  There always seems to be some area of my life where I feel I need to improve.  Then when I improve in that one area another pops up.  I am grateful for the Lord showing me my weaknesses, but sometimes it is a bit overwhelming when there are so many!  So I prayed to know which areas I should focus my efforts on and for the ability to keep the nagging voice of negativity out of my head.  I prayed for opportunities to grow and for faith and courage to be the example I need to be for those around me.

I am in Moses Chapter 8 today.  I love verse 27 about Noah:

"And thus Noah found grace in the eyes of the Lord; for Noah was a just man, and perfect in his generation; and he walked with God, as did his three sons, Shem, Ham, and Japheth."

I started thinking about the characteristics of a just and perfect man.  What would a just and perfect man for this generation be like?  Am I teaching my sons to have these characteristics?

This was a timely study because I had just watched my sons interact with girls over the weekend, and I made it clear that I expected them to behave as perfect gentlemen. Mom's standards of a gentleman, not the worlds!

I found a talk by Bishop Richard C. Edgley titled, Behold the Man, in the May 2000, New Era, which talks about true manhood.

Bishop Edgley says true manhood comes only if and when you earn it.  He talks about Satan's version of manhood versus Jesus Christ's example of manhood.  I love the line:  "Yes, Jesus is the man."  from his talk.

He gives two criteria for true manhood:
     A true man is strong enough to withstand the wiles of Satan.
     A true man is humble enough to submit himself to the redemptive powers of the Savior.

I used this talk as my family home evening lesson on Monday night.  I asked my husband and sons to write a list of characteristics they thought a good man would have.  Here is what they came up with:

Intelligent, loving, caring, hardworking, hot stuff, sense of humor, gentle, devoted, kind, patient, tolerant, creative, supportive, family oriented.

I think their description sounds like a pretty amazing man.  I thought the 'hot stuff' remark was a little funny, but you do want your man to be attractive to you!

I went a little further with the discussion.  I had found three different articles from the web that listed ten or more characteristics of a good man.  One article came from a support group for abused women, one was written by a woman, and was was written by a man.  I didn't tell them who wrote them but asked them to read through the list and choose three or four characteristics characteristics they would add to their list.  I was surprised by their answers:

His shell is tough, but his heart is tender and strong.  His strength is in his reserve.
He may not meet society's perception of physical beauty or material wealth, but both attributes reflect from within him like a beacon.
He's upfront, never evasive.  You know exactly where he's coming from.
His words meet his actions.
Great men have their priorities in line.  They know what is truly important in life, and live accordingly.
Great men respect and honor women.  They don't objectify, degrade, or demean them.
Great men are honest, and have a sense of morality, integrity, and decency.  They have an internal awareness of what is or is not appropriate, good, right, or decent.
Great men are in touch with their feelings, emotions, concerns and even shortcomings.  They can love and be loved.
He recognizes his strengths and his weaknesses.
He can laugh at himself.
He is committed to your happiness.

My personal favorite was: He does not pay lip service to God's word, as a matter of fact you never hear him say it at all because he lives, breathes and exudes it in all that he says or does.

The last one is what I picture Noah and all the great prophets like.  You just knew how they felt about the Lord because it was a part of them.

That's what I want for my sons.  I want them to have these characteristics.  I want them to be good men.  Luckily they have good men, like their father, to measure themselves up to.  They also have the examples of the great men of the gospel.  We ended our lesson with each of them choosing one thing on their list to work on.

It was great to use the things I learned from the scriptures and apply it to my family in such a positive way. I do not expect the men in my family to be perfect, but I want them to be aware of what the Lord expects from them so that they can be examples for their generation.  From their lists it sounds like they are on their way, which I am very grateful for!