Living Above the Noise

NOISE, NOISE, NOISE!!! 

Have you ever had one of those days where the world seems so noisy that it feels like it's drowning you out? It gets so loud that you can't even think straight.  You can feel the tension in your body and you know that you need to escape. When I have days like that I put on some good music.  I am a music lover.  I play music all the time.  My appreciation for music goes beyond just the sound the instruments make, the lyrics play a huge part in why I enjoy music. Good lyrics stick with you and give you the opportunity to reflect on them; they tell a story that you can relate to and cause an emotional reaction.  

Recently, I heard a song by Plum called Need You Now. (Here is the link)

http://youtu.be/9ylnx0NA9X4

The artist shared the story behind this song in a radio interview.  When she was a teenager she suffered anxiety attacks to the point where she would be hiding in a bathroom stall saying to herself, "Fear not, fear not."  Not everyone suffers from anxiety in such a life changing way, but most people will have some moments of anxiety in their lives that overwhelm them.  I know I have.   

There is one line from this song that has been running through my head: I'm trying to hear the still small voice, I'm trying to hear above the noise.  The thought of trying to hear above the noise struck a cord with me. It got me thinking about the noise in my life.  What is it that keeps me from hearing the still small voice? What is it that keeps me from feeling  peace instead of anxiety?  How can I control the noise in my life?

I started my research in the scriptures to see what they had to say about the noise in my life.  To be honest I wasn't sure what to expect. I thought to myself, "How noisy could it have been back then?"  You would think by now that I would stop being such a skeptic when it comes to applying the scriptures to the problems in my life! 

Here are some thoughts from my first study session on this topic: 

Noise of War

 In Exodus 32:17-19 it states:

17 And when ^aJoshua heard the noise of the people as they ^bshouted, he said unto Moses, There is a noise of war in the camp.

18 And he said, It is not the voice of them that ^ashout for mastery, neither is it the voice of them that cry for being overcome: but the noise of them that sing do I hear.

19 ¶And it came to pass, as soon as he came nigh unto the camp, that he ^asaw the calf, and the dancing: and Moses’ ^banger waxed hot, and he cast the tables out of his hands, and ^cbrake them beneath the mount.

I have read this story many times, but I don't think that I have ever really pondered it in relation to the noise in my own life.  In verse 17 Joshua calls the noise, a noise of war. Who is the war against? From Moses' reaction it is apparent that it is against God. Are there people in my life that make 'noise' against God?  Of course there are.  Society has become accepting of the noise, it is everywhere.  The use of foul language on TV, in movies, at the grocery store, in the schools and in our homes is rampant.  The lyrics to many of today's popular songs promote sex, drugs, and crime. Video games that promote promiscuity, violence, crime sprees, and even murder are being played by children whose minds are not really capable of filtering the noise.  Sadly, the noise has become part of our everyday lives.

Why is it that the noise is so easily accepted? I don't know the answer to that.  I do know that it isn't just a modern day problem, it has been a problem since the Old Testament times.  Have you ever wondered why there weren't more people that came to warn Moses?  Joshua and Moses seem to be the only ones that recognize the noise for what it really is. Why is that?

If you go back to Exodus 24 you read that Moses and Joshua left together.  Where did they go? To the mount. Moses was going to receive the tablets and Joshua was waiting for him.  They were above the noise, seeking information from God.  I think there is a lesson in that.  I don't have to participate in the noise of the world.  I can choose to live above it by keeping near to God. 

Where is my mount of safety?  In my home, at my church, at the temple, and sometimes, out in nature.  But I think my mount of safety is more than just a place.  My family brings me safety, the scriptures bring me safety, even my friends bring me safety.  I am very blessed to have  so many opportunities for safety in my life.  

Something else that struck me in this story is the fact that because Moses and Joshua were not in the midst of the noise, but above it, they had a different perspective. Now I am not saying that we should look down on people, but when we feel like the noise is 'iffy' we need to get out of the situation, and look at it from a different perspective. If we do this, God will keep our perspective clear and help us recognize the noise that will keep us from hearing His voice.   

How do you know when the noise is 'iffy'? Joshua tells us in verse 18 that the noise he heard was not a call for courage or the cry of a people of being overcome, but the noise of them that sing do I hear.  His words give us an idea of what is questionable noise:

• If the noise leads us to less than courageous acts it is 'iffy'.  What is the noise asking us to do?  Does it lead us to God or away from God?
• Is the noise a cry for help or is it an invitation to join in on questionable behavior?
• Now the third one seems strange because it sounds like singing is bad.  Joshua isn't saying that he is concerned because the people are singing, but more so what they are singing about. Remember Moses and Joshua find the people worshiping the golden calf. These were songs of praise to the wrong god.  A good question to ask ourselves is does this noise praise God or condemn Him?

Last, but not least, we read of Moses' reaction to finding the people dancing and singing to the golden calf, he becomes angry, not just angry, but he is hot with anger.  What does this say about how we should feel about the inappropriate noise around us?  It should anger us.  Moses is so angry that it leads him to the action of breaking the tablets.  We should be angered into action.  With the proper perspective and the ability to hear above the noise, we will know what action should be taken for each instance of 'iffy' noise we encounter. 

I am sure there are many more lessons that can be gleaned from these verses, but these are the ones that stood out to me.  They have inspired me to look more closely at the noise that I let into my life and have increased my desire to live above the noise. I will continue to study this topic, searching for insights that can strengthen my mount of safety, that will call me to be courageous, and will lead me to the still small voice and the actions that I need to take.

I am so grateful for the good noise in my life that led me to this topic.  There is such great power in the noise of good music. It makes living above the noise so much more enjoyable!

An Attitude of Being

The Beatitudes

This morning I had the privilege of being taught what the Beatitudes (found in Matt 5) were all about by seven teenagers. Each of my students drew a piece of paper with a beatitude on it and followed these simple instructions: Read through the verse, make a poster representing the beatitude, be prepared to teach the other members of the class about the beatitude.  Tell us what it means, how the poster represents it, and give an example of how you think it will lead you to greater happiness. They had 15 minutes to prepare.

I was impressed with the effort they were putting into the project.  One student even commented on how quiet it was in the room (a rarity for my class!) We worked, occasionally passed materials to each other, and munched on our Pop tarts (important brain food for creativity.) Finally, the time was up and we were ready to teach.

There is something special about seminary and teenagers who attend seminary.  One minute they are having a conversation that seems to be going no where and the next minute they are focused and presenting Beatitudes in a way that touches your heart.  Each poster was different, each student gave us insights into what Christ was trying to teach, and each personality was evident from their work.  I loved it!

Peacemaker

Hunger & Thirst for Righteousness

Meek

Pure in Heart

Mourn

Poor in Spirit

Persecuted and Reviled

Merciful

In footnote a for Matt 5:3 we learn that 'beatitude' means 'to be fortunate,' 'to be happy,' 'to be blessed.' I felt all of those things this morning. I am finally starting to understand why Christ would teach the Beatitudes to the people on the mount, He truly wants all of us to feel fortunate, happy, and blessed.  

We used simple formulas in the margins of our scriptures to help us remember the attitude we need to have and the corresponding blessing that comes with it like: PS = KH (Poor in Spirit = Kingdom of Heaven).  I have a new formula I want to write in my scriptures: True Happiness = a be attitude = an attitude of being.

What is an attitude of being? It is the willingness to be: poor in spirit, mournful, meek, hunger and thirst for righteousness, merciful, pure in heart, peacemakers, persecuted for righteousness, and reviled by men and still find happiness though it all.  It is being the example of the attitude we want to see in others. 

I shared a quote from Charles Swindoll this morning.  I would like to share part of it in this post:
"I am convinced that life is 10% what happens to me and 90% how I react to it.  And so it is with you... WE are in charge of our Attitudes."

My challenge to the class was to pick two beatitudes that they felt they needed to work on and try to use them in a missionary moment.  Have an attitude of being and share it with others.  We are bringing happiness to the world one beatitude at a time!

God Puts People In Our Lives

I am one of those people that gets a thought stuck in my head and it stays there, mulling around, tormenting me to think about it. It requires that I stop and dedicate some time to the thought and work it out before I can let go.  I don't usually mind it too much, except when I am super busy and the thought keeps popping up reminding me that I need to finish what I started.

Today I am dedicating this post to the most recent thought that has been floating around in my head: God puts people in our lives.  It was a topic that was discussed in my seminary class and although the purpose of the discussion was fulfilled, for me personally, I have felt like there was more for me to learn.  I have been thinking about this since Friday morning and if I want to be productive in my other endeavors this week, I think it is time to finish what I started.   

My need to know more started with the verses in Matthew 10:1-11:

 1 And when he had ^acalled unto him his ^btwelve disciples, he gave them ^cpower against ^dunclean spirits, to cast them out, and to ^eheal all manner of ^fsickness and all manner of disease.

 2 Now the names of the twelve apostles are these; The first, Simon, who is called Peter, and Andrew his brother; James the son of Zebedee, and John his brother;

 3 Philip, and Bartholomew; Thomas, and Matthew the ^apublican; James the son of Alphæus, and Lebbæus, whose surname was Thaddæus;

 4 Simon the Canaanite, and Judas Iscariot, who also ^abetrayed him.

 5 These twelve Jesus ^asent forth, and commanded them, saying, Go not into the way of the Gentiles, and into any city of the ^bSamaritans enter ye not:

 6 But go rather to the ^alost ^bsheep of the house of Israel.

 7 And as ye go, preach, saying, The kingdom of heaven ^ais at hand.

 8 ^aHeal the sick, cleanse the ^blepers, raise the dead, ^ccast out devils:^dfreely ye have received, freely ^egive.

 9 Provide neither gold, nor silver, nor brass in your ^apurses,

 10 Nor ^ascrip for your journey, neither two coats, neither shoes, nor yet staves: for the workman is ^bworthy of his ^cmeat.

 11 And into whatsoever city or town ye shall ^aenter, enquire who in it is worthy; and there abide till ye go thence.

Basically Christ is saying, "Do what you have seen me do and tell the world my story."

It sounds so simple, yet it is one of the areas that many Christians struggle with.  Sharing the gospel can be intimidating and can conjure up fears of rejection, embarrassment, and inadequacy.  These are strong emotions that have the power to make us shrink back and pull away from those we are supposed to be reaching out to.  I know because I have experienced them personally and even though I love my Savior, I have let these emotions control my actions in a negative manner.  Sadly, there have been many time when I should have opened my mouth, but instead the fear of such strong emotions clamped my mouth shut.

I know from previous experience that God doesn't ask us to do something without giving us a plan and the support we need to make it happen.  The twelve apostles had witnessed Christ do the very things He was asking them to do.  He was their mentor. Who is the mentor that God has put in my life?

I decided to do a little research on what it means to be a mentor.  A mentor is a guide or teacher.  Someone who will challenge you to grow and take on big challenges.  As I look back on my life I see that the Lord has put many mentors in my life.  My first mentor was my mother, then came teachers, friends, classmates, etc. 

As I have matured I have become more aware that a mentor doesn't necessarily mean that you see each other in a teacher/student setting.  A mentor can be found in each person I meet.  Everyone has something to teach me. There are people that I have not actually been introduced to that have taught me some of the lessons that have stuck with me throughout my life.  

I remember reading a parenting book and the author had written a story about how she would use the term 'gentlemen' when she addressed her sons.  Her thought was that she would call them by the term in which she wanted them to be. I loved that thought and chose to do the same with my own sons.  Almost twenty-one years later and her influence is still felt in my home.  

In another instance, I remember seeing a young woman who seemed to exude class.  Her countenance was bright and her composure was flawless.  Oh how I longed to be like her!  I am forty-five now and I am still working on being like that young woman. She has no idea of the influence she had on me that day, but I strive to be like her every day of my life.

What does it add to being a mentor when you are doing it for Christ?  The Christian faith spreads person-to-person.  It grows deep in mentor-disciple relationships.  Every young Christian needs a mature believer to show him/her how to live like Christ.  It means doing what we have seen Him do and telling others His story through our own actions, thoughts, and words.  It means guiding others through challenges that could only be accomplished with God's help. 

Just as God puts people in our lives to teach us, he also provides us with someone to teach.  Like Christ and his apostles, God prepares us, then He pushes us out of the nest and gives us opportunities to serve others.  Someone is looking up to us and watching Jesus work in our lives.  Someone is hoping that we will bring them the hope that they seek, the healing that the long for, and the love that they need.    

Just as every person has the potential to be a mentor to us, each person also presents us with the opportunity to be the mentor.  The goal is to leave each person we come in contact with a sense of their worth.  It is important that each person knows that they are loved and that they are worth the effort to get to know.  I cannot tell you how many times a smile from someone has helped lift my spirits.  The fact that someone took the time to make eye contact and brighten my day can mean a lot on those really tough days.

Studying the mentor/disciple relationship has given me the desire to be better at both.  Finding the balance between teacher, yet still a student, can be difficult at times.  I know that I am still a work in progress.  The way I see it, as long as God is putting both mentors and students in my life it shows me that He believes in me.  He is giving me the chance to seek Him out in each person that I meet.   He is active in my life. And He is showing me the ultimate example of a what a mentor should be. What an awesome God we have!

Reaching Out

It's been a while since I've sat down and put my thoughts in a blog post.  Life has a way of keeping me busy, which is probably a good thing, since it keeps me out of trouble! I am truly blessed with work! Work at home, the bookstore, and especially with seminary.  I am surrounded by good people who inspire me everyday.  

This blog post is inspired by my seminary peeps.  They are seven young men and women who come to learn about the gospel for an hour and a half in the morning every other day.  They keep me on my toes and make me want to be a better teacher and example for them.  

Our area of study this year is the New Testament.  We are digging deep into the scriptures to learn more about how to be more like our Savior and to be the best disciples we can.  Recently the lesson was on being called to be fisher's of men.  A challenge was thrown out to my class that we would strive to have 100 missionary moments.  I don't know why it needs to be 100 moments, it just sounded like a good goal, and it is the number of fish beads that I had to help us keep track of our progress.

During the lesson we watched the following video:

  
I couldn't believe it! A member of the First Presidency giving us permission to use social media and electronics to share the gospel, it seemed like the perfect fit for a class full of teenagers!  My class accepted the challenge and so began the discussion on ways we could use social media to reach out to people.  

I chose to use my blog as a way to share the gospel.  I don't know how many people will find it useful, but if even one person finds something that brings them closer to God than it is a success.

I opened this post expressing my busyness (is that a real word?).  While thinking of what I wanted to share in this post I realized that I needed to dedicate more of my time to sharing the gospel.  It's great to be busy, but is what I am busy with more important than sharing the gospel?  

I came across this scripture while I was preparing one of my lessons:

"Wherefore, settle this in your hearts, that ye will do the things which I shall teach, and command you." JST Luke 14:28

Ouch! I seem to have my priorities mixed up.  It got me thinking that what I am busy with says a lot about where my heart is. Although the things I am keeping busy with are good, I needed a little redirection to help me remember that sharing the gospel is important too and this scripture and the class challenge have put me back on track.  

I am looking forward to hearing about all the missionary moments my class will have.  They have already begun sharing some of their stories in class and I am so impressed with their willingness to open their mouths and share their beliefs.  They are great examples to me!

There is no doubt in my mind that we can do this, 100 missionary moments for 8 disciples, is definitely doable!  It is on!!





  

  

Our Choices Make a Difference

Agency


Lately, it feels like the world is sending the message that choosing to do the right thing, being a righteous person, is a death sentence to an exciting life. What a sad message to send to a generation that seems to be groping for clarity on the moral issues of the day.


Not too long ago, the media covered the story of a well known actress who stated “You can learn so much from bad things. I feel boring.  I feel like, why is everything so easy for me? I can’t wait for something to (bad word) happen to me. Just life. I want something to (more bad words) me over! Do you know what I mean?”

I found myself feeling disappointed by that statement.  I thought to myself, no, I don’t know what she means.  She’s a huge Hollywood movie star, how boring can her life be? 

As I thought about it more I began to wonder if she understood the impact her words could have on others, especially her young fans.  Why would she make such a statement knowing that there are millions of teenage girls that look up to her and dream of having such a life?  How will her ‘craving for something to excite her life’ make her fans feel about their own lives?  It is hard enough to be a good person; having influential people call you boring doesn’t help! 

Unfortunately, her statement is just a reflection of so many others.  Reality TV would have us believe that if our lives aren’t filled with drama then we are boring.  There are more shows about teen pregnancy, wild party lives, and corrupt organizations then there are about good people, doing good things.  Why is that?

This negative outlook on being good is nothing new.  It has been around for a while, but the growing movement to publicize it and make it seem normal is alarming to me. I worry about how all of this drama will affect the young people in the world.

I am not alone in my concern. Jack R. Christianson wrote a book titled “What’s so bad about being good?” The purpose of the book is to explore the benefits of being good and doing good. There were a few statements from the book that stood out to me as I was thinking about the messages the world is sending out:

We may not be able to change the world, but we can change our world.

By believing that human beings are of great worth, we can change the world.

A truly good person respects others as individuals of great worth; thus my fellow human beings are at least my equal and perhaps even my superior in some ways.

My life is my message ~ Gandhi

Did you notice a theme?  Good people tend to think about others.  They choose to make a positive difference in the lives of others.  It’s not all about them!

I am a Christian and so I believe in being like Christ.  He is the perfect example of what I can become. I am so grateful for the message His life gives, it is filled with hope.  What an important message that is so desperately needed in today’s society. What a great goal for all of us, to leave a message of hope through our lives.

I also believe that you don’t have to be a Christian to be a good person and do good. All people have the ability to do good, they just have to choose to do it. This means making a conscience effort to think about how our actions and words affect others we come in contact with.

I think our young actress got in trouble because she was thinking of herself.  It was about her experiences and not about what she could do for others.  She would soon come to regret the words she had stated.  We find her suffering the consequences for the “bad thing” she would choose to do.  She would cheat on her boyfriend with a married man.

There has been some serious backlash from the public that once adored her.  I wonder what she could have gained if she had chosen to use her influence to serve others and learn more about herself through positive experiences.  How many lives could she have influenced to do good by being a good example? She has only added to the lie that you must have drama in your life to be somebody. 

In contrast to the story of our young actress, I found the story of a seventeen year old young man named Helmuth Hubener.  He and two of his friends would fight the lies of the Nazi party during World War II by creating anti-Nazi pamphlets and placing them in public places for everyone to see. He chose to do the right thing in spite of the drama around him.  His hope was to share the truth so that the drama would end. I think he would have preferred a little more ‘boring’ and ‘easy’ in his life. Instead, he would use his talents and resources for good even if it meant the end of his life.  His choices still influence people today.

It is not my intention to embarrass or chastise the young actress, that would be judgmental and self righteous.  Instead I am trying to see the lesson that can be learned from her actions.  We have all made mistakes.  We will all suffer consequences.  We have an opportunity to learn from her mistake and hopefully not make the same one.

If Gandhi is right and our lives are our message, then now is a good time to decide what message we would like to leave.  We have the chance to stop and reflect on our own actions and decide if there are changes we need to make. It doesn’t matter if you are famous or living an ordinary ‘boring” life, your choices make a difference, they influence the people around you for good or bad. As the young actress said in her statement, “You can learn so much from the bad things”, while that is true, I believe you can learn so much more from the good things.

The Feeling of Dread

Holy Ghost

Lately I've been thinking about the times when the Spirit has prompted me to do something and my reaction is not what is described as feelings of comfort and peace, but instead, I am overcome with a feeling of dread.  Maybe you have experienced it too. It's that nervous feeling you get and your stomach turns, you're scared, and you try to come up with all sorts of reasons NOT to do what you are being asked to do.  Does that make me a bad Christian?

I know that the Lord asks us to do things that seem beyond our capabilities or don't make sense at the time, but it seems like no one wants to talk about the feelings they have when it brings discomfort instead of peace. It's like there's something wrong with you if you question what you are being asked to do. People make you feel like you don't have enough faith.

Fortunately, the scriptures are filled with stories of God asking His children to take a giant leap of faith and trust Him; to step beyond their own reason and do what He asks, even if it doesn't make sense at the time. He has given us plenty of examples to follow.

One of my favorite examples of this is the story of Nephi and Laban.  Nephi has been sent to get the brass plates from Laban.  However, Laban is not going to give them up without a fight.  When Nephi stumbles upon a drunken Laban he is told to slay him. It is obvious that Nephi is not feeling all warm and fuzzy inside.  Instead the scriptures tell us, "And I shrunk and would that I might not slay him?" (1 Ne 4:10) 

As one author put it, "Nephi was horrified at the prospect of having to kill his kinsman, but he had to have the plates so he could fulfill a portion of his life mission--a mission that he did not fully understand at that point." (Randal A Wright Achieving Your Life Mission)

What about Mary, the Mother of Jesus? What was her reaction to the news that she would give birth to the Son of God?

When Gabriel spoke to Mary, her first reaction was to be a little disturbed.  Luke says that Mary was "greatly troubled" --filled with inner commotion and turmoil (Luke 1:28-29). Who could blame her? I think most of us would have been freaked out by an angel visiting us, let alone the message that you would bear God's son.

Then there is Moses in the Old Testament, who when God called him to lead His people out of Egypt, responded with, "Who am I, that I should go unto Pharaoh, and that I should bring forth the children of Israel out of Egypt?" (Exodus 3:11)

How about the men that were asked to leave their sick families and travel across the world to preach the gospel.  The Spirit had confirmed their need to go, but still the brethren used words like "difficulty", "it felt as though my very inmost parts would melt within me", "I felt as though I could not endure it" in their journals to describe their feelings (Life of Heber C. Kimball).  This was a tough thing they were being asked to do and it did not bring them comfort and peace.

These are just a few examples; the scriptures are filled with many more. With so many examples of feeling uncomfortable when prompted by the Spirit you would think that people would talk about it more.  Instead, there is a fear of judgment that comes with expressing feelings of dread regarding spiritual promptings.  There is a fear that people will think you are less spiritual or less committed to God's cause if you aren't gung ho about everything He asks you to do.  It is unrealistic to think that we should never feel apprehension when dealing with God.  Prophets have struggled with it since Old Testament times.

I don't think it makes someone a bad Christian because they want to ponder on a prompting instead of jump right in.  Sometimes the process of finding out for ourselves is just as important as the task that needs to be done. 

So what are we supposed to do when we have such a reaction to the whisperings of the Spirit?

I think step one is not to focus on the fact that we aren't feeling warm and fuzzy inside about a prompting from the Spirit, but to ask ourselves what are we going to do about it?

Really, we have two choices: Do it or don't do it. Either way we have to consider that we will have to live with the consequences of that choice.  Take a minute and think about the examples that I listed above.  What would have happened had Nephi not taken the leap of faith and killed Laban?  What if Mary was too afraid and said no? What if Moses had given up on the children of Israel?  What if the missionaries hadn't shared the gospel with all those families?  What would happen if you decided not to follow the prompting?  Would it make a difference in the lives of those around you?

When I realize that whatever the Lord is asking me to do is bigger than me, and has the opportunity to change another's life, it seems easier to take the leap of faith. I have often asked myself, "Is fear a good enough reason not to do something?"

After I have pondered the consequences I take it to the Lord in prayer.  Most of my experiences have ended with a confirmation that I really do need to do it, but there have been times when, like Nephi, Mary, Moses, and the missionaries, I have just had to do it and hope that the Lord will cover any weaknesses that I might have.  When I lack enough strength of my own, it is through their stories that I find the strength to move forward. 

Over the years, and with each experience, it has gotten easier to follow the promptings of the Spirit.  However, every once in a while a situation comes up that throws me off and those feelings of dread reappear. I've decided it's okay to have these experiences, because the process of working through it brings me closer to God, and isn't that the real goal of every good Christian? 

Priesthood and Marriage

Priesthood

I struggled with what I wanted to write about the priesthood.  Although I grew up in the church, my father was not a member, and I did not have the opportunity to have all the blessings that come with having the priesthood in your home.  All those stories that people share of the father's blessings or the blessings for the sick that their father gave them, I cannot fully relate to.  It was a different situation for me.

The priesthood was and is important to me.  I listened to the talks and the lessons about the priesthood with great interest as a child and young woman. I loved the scriptures that discussed what a righteous priesthood holder would be like.  My favorite scriptures on the priesthood are in Doctrine and Covenants 121:39-44:

"We have learned by sad experience that it is the nature and disposition of almost all men, as soon as they get a little authority, as they suppose, they will immediately begin to exercise unrighteous dominion.  Hence many are called, but few are chosen.  No power or influence can or ought to be maintained by virtue of the priesthood, only by persuasion, by long-suffering, by gentleness and meekness, and by love unfeigned;  By kindness, and pure knowledge, which shall greatly enlarge the soul without hypocrisy, and without guile—  Reproving betimes with sharpness, when moved upon by the Holy Ghost; and then showing forth afterwards an increase of love toward him whom thou hast reproved, lest he esteem thee to be his enemy; That he may know that thy faithfulness is stronger than the cords of death."

Eventhough I did not have the priesthood in my home growing up I knew that it was something that I wanted to have in my own home someday. Who wouldn't want a man who would show unfeigned love, kindness, pure knowledge, gentleness and meekness?

This is the part where I introduce my husband, Jim.  He is a convert to the church and his path to the priesthood has not always been easy, but I shared an experience with him this weekend that showed me that he truly is a righteous priesthood holder and is there when I need him most.

I will not look too good in this story. I am not proud of my behavior and I don't think my first reaction to being reproved was what it should have been.  However, I feel like I should share the experience because my husbands reaction to the situation truly increased the strength of my marriage.  We both came away understanding each other a little better and on my part, I loved my husband more than ever.  (Well after I got over myself.)

Saturday was my niece's dance recital at the Rolling Hills Community Church in Tualatin.  The recital started at 1pm and we left the house around 12:15pm. Forty-five minutes seemed like plenty of time to get there. I started out feeling like this would be a nice drive and a chance to visit with my husband.

Well, my lovely vision would quickly change as we ran into traffic.  Out of nowhere I became frustrated with the situation. I am usually pretty mellow about stuff like that, but this time I could not control my emotions.  I started to get angry with Jim because he remained so calm through it all.  Couldn't he see that this was important to me? Didn't he know that I hated to be late?  Why was he so dang calm?  I couldn't stand it!  He is usually the one that has no patience for traffic, yet he would not feed my little tirade.  Was he mocking me? What was his problem! 

Through all my snippyness he remained calm and in a mellow voice would tell me that it would be alright and I shouldn't worry.  I of course was not appeased and so gave him the silent treatment. Who was he to tell me to calm down? It was usually me who had to tell him to calm down.  I didn't like this scenario at all.  I sighed and groaned just to let him know I wasn't happy with the situation.  He just kept driving. 

The worse part is that even when we got there, with time to spare, I was having a hard time letting go of my feelings.  As we sat through the recital and I started to calm down, I started to think about how I had behaved and the contention that I was causing.  I even said to myself, "You are driving the Spirit away! Get a grip woman!"

We had a good time at the recital and then we had the trip home.  Secretly I was hoping that he would not say anything about the drive there, but I also knew that I owed him an apology.  He was the perfect man I needed him to be on the way home.  He simply said, "You were a little snippy on the way there, it was wierd because it's so unlike you, usually it's me. Are you okay?" 

What a sweet man he is.  His gentle reproof gave me the opening to share what I had been experiencing and the opportunity to apologize.  Had he become angry or belittled me I would have shut down and the situation would have gotten even worse.  Instead he showed me unfeigned love, gentleness, meekness, kindness and the wisdom that comes with pure knowledge.  He invited the Spirit to be with us and guided me through the situation.  My admiration and respect for him grew a ton that day. I was once again reminded of the importance of a righteous priesthood holder in my life.

 His faithfulness inspired me and gave me the opportunity to bask in the awesomeness of the man I love.  How blessed I am to have a man in my life that loves the Lord and is willing to take the time to teach me and correct me when I need it, and to do it in such a loving way.  He suffered through my temper tantrum and through persuasion led me back to where I needed to be. His words and actions were a reflection of Christ that day.  He built me up instead of tearing me down. I will be forever grateful to him and to God for showing me the power that the priesthood can bring to a marriage. I am truly blessed.