Be Careful What You Ask For

Learning to Praise God

Last month I shared in my blog that I was working on learning to praise God better.  Someone asked me why I chose that topic.  To be honest it came from conversations with friends from different churches, people in my own church, and even the youth in my seminary class.  The topic of how different Christian churches praise God has come up many times, and the LDS church always seems to come up short in the eyes of other Christians.

Here is a sample of some of the things people have said to me:

Why do all the hymns sound like funeral music?

Why are you guys so quiet in church?

Everyone seems to be so serious, like they aren't enjoying themselves.

It is eerily quiet, especially after a musical number, and there is no clapping or any sign that the congregation enjoyed it. How do people know?

It felt awkward.

Your speakers seem to lack enthusiasm for the gospel. (Ouch!)

People just ignored me, not one person talked to me! (This one really hurts!)

So I started to think that maybe I was missing out on something better.  Am I lacking in the praise department? Is my church dropping the ball in the praise department?

I don't think anything I do will result in big changes being made in my church, but it might make some changes in me.  It might even strengthen my relationship with God and make me a better Christian.  I'm up for that!

I had to come up with a plan. I chose to pick one topic of praise each month and work on it.  Last month I choose praising God through my trials.  My theme was: How would I answer if the Lord asked me, "Am I enough?" When the trials were piling on would I still praise Him?

I asked the Lord to bless me with opportunities to praise Him.  I really should have thought that through some more. The thought, "Be careful what you ask for' has come to my mind many times during the past month. January was a tough month.  My family suffered through the flu, we had hundreds of dollars in car repairs, there were family challenges, time challenges, and just this last week we were hit with a need for a new washing machine (hundreds of dollars more) and some medical issues.  

I blame myself for this.  You would think that I would learn to stop and think before I ask God to bless me with opportunities like this! 

On the flip side, it has been a month of keeping eternal perspective at the forefront, of not sweating the small stuff, of thanking the Lord for listening to my prayers, and learning to praise God even when I felt like sitting in the middle of the room and crying.  But maybe that is the point I needed to get to before I was ready to say, Yes Lord you are enough!

So I would like to take a moment to show a little love to my Heavenly Father and my Savior, Jesus Christ, for their awesomeness. I know that they love me, that they know me, that they hear me, and are a part of my daily life.  I know that they have been with me through every step, of every trial, that I've had this month.  I know that what might have seemed like a month of endless torment, was actually a month of teaching and learning and I love them for that!!! I learned a lot about myself and my limitations. I learned the difficulty of letting go of worldly things and seeing the value in my relationship with God. It is not always easy to put the Lord first, when you feel like your world is crumbling around you. It is nice to be able to say "That's right I survived January!"

That just leaves me with the task of picking a new topic of praise to work on for the month of February.  I'll be honest, I was a little afraid to pick one for fear of putting myself in another pattern of testing and learning.  But after some thought, I decided to go with the theme of showing praise to God through loving others, it being the month of Valentine's Day, it seemed appropriate.  

I think I'll start with some scripture study to find out the expectations before I pray this time!  Wish me luck!

Am I Enough?

Learning to Praise God

The other day I was listening to the radio and they had one of the musicians do a "Behind the Music" moment. This is an opportunity to let the listeners know what inspired the musician to write the song.  The song is called Holding Nothing Back by Ray Stevenson.

He shared the story of how his life was falling apart with huge challenges like his wife loosing their unborn twins and his record label dropping him. The trials started to pile up and he was feeling angry with God.  

In these moments of darkness he turned to the story of Job and was impressed with the fact that Job had lost everything, yet he still praised God.  He felt as if God was asking Job "Am I enough?"

That's when his inspiration came and he decided that he would not let anything come between him and the Lord. He was not going to hold back.

I've been thinking about the question "Am I enough?" If God were to ask me that question directly how would I answer? I would want to say 'YES', but do my words and actions always express that sentiment? The answer is 'NO', but the simplicity of the question "Am I enough?" inspires me to work towards being able to say 'yes'.

Every year I choose some area in my spiritual journey to work on.  This year I am working on learning how to praise God.  I decided that each month I would study one aspect of praising God and try to implement it into my life. My encounter with this song on the radio helped me choose this month's topic: Praising God through my trials. 

When life's challenges start to pile up and I'm not handling the stress well I stop and picture the Savior asking me "Am I enough?" It's amazing how quickly my perspective changes and my priorities start to fall into the proper order, just by saying these three words.

I've also been blessed to study the scriptures everyday and to recognize the examples of people who have decided that God truly is enough for them.  Abinadi is one of those examples. As I've read Mosiah 11-17 I am so impressed with this prophets ability to give up his life to share his message with the wicked people of King Noah. When given the opportunity to save himself by recanting his words, he chooses to stay true and sacrifices his life to seal his testimony. For Abinadi God truly was enough.

Abinadi was inspired by the words of Isaiah concerning the Savior and the Atonement. As the Savior was asked to sacrifice himself for all of us, Abinadi was willing to sacrifice his life to share his message. His sacrifice was not in vain, his words and actions changed the heart of one man who would go on to do some great works.

I don't think that I will be called to sacrifice my life for my beliefs, but I do know that He is asking me to share His message and not to worry about the consequences. It means overcoming my fears (which have been many over the years) and letting my words and actions say to Him, "Yes Lord you are enough!"

In my class today there were some questions that really seemed to get everyone thinking:

How strong is my testimony? Am I willing to die for it?  Better yet, am I willing to live for it?

Living for my testimony really got to me. What a great way to praise God during my trials! 

I want to thank my Savior and my Father in Heaven for blessing me with so many inspirational moments. They know me so well and know exactly what I need and when I need it. I love them so much for that. With each of these moments I get one step closer to being able to say "Yes Lord you are enough for me!"

My Ungrateful Twist

The Itch That Won't Go Away

This time of year always brings out the "I am Grateful for..." posts, and that's a good thing.  It's nice to check your Facebook posts and see people expressing their gratitude in a positive way... well, usually.  This year something happened to me and I can't seem to get it out of my head. I keep thinking about the LARGE list of things I am usually UNGRATEFUL for.  What is wrong with me?! 

I tend to think about things way deeper than I should (which I probably should be grateful for), and it often leads me to the issues that I need to work on in my life (which is another thing I should be grateful for), but there are times when I would love to just take the easy way. Why can't I just be happy with choosing one thing I was grateful for and sharing it? I'm such a freak!

My craziness has led me to keeping a list of things I was ungrateful for instead of listing the things I have been grateful for each day.  Sadly, it's a long list. There is a bright side to this though. In my 'gotta think things into the ground' way, I have realized that it has forced me to look at my life and see the positive out of the negative. It challenges me to see God through the opposition in my life. It also has led me to start blogging again in the hopes that I am not alone in my craziness.  Surely there are others out there that get me! (Do I sound too desperate?)

I want to share one thing from my Ungrateful List and see where it goes. 

I am ungrateful for the difficult people in my life. Maybe you have some in your life too.  You know the type. These are the people that can get you so angry and frustrated that you have a hard time loving them. These are the people that you find yourself talking to yourself about out loud. They have a way of getting under your skin and becoming the itch that won't go away no matter how hard you scratch! So annoying!!

Where did this take me?  It took me to the law of opposition. How could I know joy if I didn't know sadness or anger or frustration?  Opposition is a teaching tool and an important part of the Plan of Salvation. It's there to remind me to see things with an eternal perspective.  And that's when I had my epiphany: Frustration is God's way of letting me know that I need to change my perspective!

I have to make a choice: do I let these people frustrate and anger me or, do I choose to look for the eternal lessons they are teaching me and be grateful that the Lord loves me enough to put them in my life. There it is, my ungrateful twist! 

I'm feeling a little better about the situation, less itchy.  It's interesting to me how the Lord has a way of tempering my anger and frustration when I let Him. I love Him for that!

What Can We Do For God?

Obedience

I've been invited to speak in church on the topic of obedience. It is a challenge to teach about this topic and not make the congregation feel guilty when you are done.  I hate sitting in church and feeling like the speaker is hoping to guilt me into changing my ways.  Guilt is not a very good motivator, I think it might bring about temporary desires to change, but for the long term I think love is a much better motivator.  So, how am I going to mix love and obedience to get the desired results? I really don't know yet, but it should be fun finding my way!

One possibility is the question: What can we do for God? 

I like this question because it leads to our desire to do something in response to God's goodness in our lives. It also leads me to the thought: What does God expect of me?

This is a question that has been around a long time. There is a story in the book of Micah in chapter 6 about a time when the Lord was not pleased with His people. First , God calls them out. "O my people, what have I done unto thee? and wherein have I wearied thee? testify against me. (Micah 6:3) 

Next, the Lord reminds the people of the good things He has done for them: "For I brought thee up out of the land of Egypt, and redeemed thee out of the house of servants; and I sent before thee Moses, Aaron, and Miriam." (Micah 6:4). 

This leads to the people trying to figure out what the Lord expects of them. This is what they come up with in verses 6-7: 

"Wherewith shall I come before the Lord, and bow myself before the high God? shall I come before him with burnt offerings, with calves of a year old?"

"Will the Lord be pleased with thousands of rams, or with ten thousands of rivers of oil? shall I give my firstborn for my transgression, the fruit of my body for the sin of my soul?"

Watch out all you firstborns! Give up your firstborn, really? It appears that they are bargaining for forgiveness.  Did you notice that they started with bowing before God and one verse later they are offering their firstborn? It is obvious that these people had lost touch with their God.

Then comes some words of wisdom: "He hath shewed thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God?" (Micah 6:8)

I love the words "He hath shewed thee, O Man, what is good..." God ALWAYS gives us the steps we need to fulfill what he asks of us.

Did you catch the three things that the Lord does require of us: do justly, love mercy, and to walk humbly with Him.  

These three warrant a little more research, but I have an impatient husband waiting for a haircut, so it will have to be another time. Something to look forward to! 

Discussions with God

Discussions With God

My journey to motherhood had a very rocky start. I was among the growing number of women who face infertility. For three years I went through tests, medications, and procedures to help me get pregnant.  It was a very difficult time and I was struggling to understand why God would make me go through this.  I had dreamed of being a mom my whole life and now it looked like that was not going to happen. 

At first my prayers consisted of asking my Father in Heaven for understanding, patience, and the ability to get pregnant. Then they became pleas of desperation.  Please Lord, tell me what I need to do to get pregnant! Put the right doctor in my life. Bless my body with whatever I am lacking to get pregnant.

After a year or so my prayers became more like discussions with God when it came to this topic.  I no longer held back, I shared my anger at the situation, the frustration of watching others get pregnant with ease, or seeing on the news that a child had been abused or murdered by their parent.  Why would they get a baby and I couldn’t? Lots of tears were shed and many words were said. 

When I think back on some of those discussions, I think about the honesty that I showed and how each word came from my heart.  I also see how the Lord was preparing me for the difficult tasks that lay ahead of me, including being the mother of two boys.

The day came that I did finally get pregnant and I was so excited!  I was going to be a mom! All my prayers and all the tests had worked.  My prayers were once again filled with joy…for a little while.  My body didn’t like to be pregnant.  I had a very difficult pregnancy, lots of bed rest (which I am not very good at), pills, and patience (which I am also not good at). Somehow we made it through it all and my first son was born. Oh happy day!

Next was a lesson on the Lord’s timing.  My first son was not even six months old when I became pregnant with my second son! What was that all about? Three long years for the first one and then months later I was pregnant with number two! Even the doctor’s office was surprised by the timing.  I think the response was, “Are you sure? You just had a baby!” Yep, I was pretty sure.

In my blissful ignorance of what it would mean to have two children under the age of two (and boys at that) I persevered through a second difficult pregnancy thinking how blessed I was.  My discussions with God were pretty mellow and filled with the words of gratitude. That would soon change.

Just weeks after my second son was born my husband was laid off from his job and my first son got sick with a high fever and vomiting.  As with most new moms, I was a raging hormone queen, and it didn’t take long for my discussions with God to become a little more colorful.  There was no holding back. It was pure emotion and every frustration was at the forefront of my prayers.  I needed help and I needed it to come from Him.  I prayed with the expectation that if I asked He would answer.  And you know what? He did.

My discussions with God would prove invaluable over the years of motherhood.  I have prayed for money, diapers, food, patience, talents and gifts, love, healings, friends, and so much more.  Mostly I have prayed for wisdom.  I just want to be the best mom for my boys and I have learned over the years that my strengths as a mother only come when my relationship with God is the strongest.  My greatest success as a mother happens when I am trying to parent like Heavenly Father does.  Here are a few examples of what this has done for me:

When my boys were very young I prayed about how to raise them to be great men.  It was soon after this prayer that I read an article about a mom with boys and she stated that if you want to raise gentlemen then you have to treat them that way.  It seems so simple, but at the time it was profound to me.  I thought about how God treats each of his children.  He treats me as if I am the person He knows I can be.  From that day on I addressed my boys as gentlemen and I have always had the expectation that they would behave as such.  If they don’t, they know that the wrath of mom will be upon them!

The scriptures tell us that ‘men are that they might have joy’. They also tell us that we should dance and sing.  Heavenly Father wants His children to be happy, to have a happy environment.  With that in mind, my husband and I have always tried to create a home where these things are a part of everyday life.  There are musical instruments to play, there is good music available to listen to, there are good movies to watch, good books to read, and we try to laugh every day.  For a really good laugh my husband will bust out his salsa moves every once in a while.  I love that man!

One of Heavenly Father’s parenting must haves is open communications.  He asks us to keep Him in our lives every day and to share with him our worries, our fears, as well as our joys.  For my family this has meant having Family Home Evenings together and saying family prayers.  Discussions with God are important, they help us see ourselves as He sees us.  They help us to know what we are capable of and how much He loves us.  Prayer gives us the opportunity to let Him know that we love Him and we want Him in our lives.  As a parent, there is no greater satisfaction than to see your child reach his/her potential and to want you to be a part of their lives. 

One more important thing I have learned from Heavenly Father is that the best parents lead by example.  I can’t think of one thing that my Heavenly Father has asked me to do that He wouldn’t do himself.  This became the foundation of my parenting.  I would never ask my boys to do anything that I wouldn’t be willing to do myself.  If I want them to know God then I had better be getting to know God.  They need to see me praying, reading my scriptures, forgiving and loving others, teaching, and all the other good things the Lord has asked me to do. 

As a side note, I would have to say that leading by example has taught me to appreciate my children’s agency.  Choosing to do the right thing EVERY time is rough and it is even harder if you haven’t seen examples of what it means to do the right thing.  None of us is perfect, but it is a little easier to be good when you have seen the benefits of it in your own home.

There are so many more lessons I have learned through my experiences as a mother, but my discussions with God have been the keystone of the success I have had in my parenting.  It is nice to know that I am not parenting alone.  I have my husband and I have the divine guidance from a Father that loves me enough to help me through every stage of it, the joys and the sorrows, the highs and lows, the laughs and the tears. How grateful I am for such blessings!

A Parable

We have been working on the Gathering Parables in Matthew 13 in seminary this week.  I learned a lot about what the Savior was trying to teach and even found myself wanting to improve in some areas of my life.  

To finish this area of study, I decided to share a modern day parable with my class.  This being the Northwest I felt a parable involving a tree would be appropriate.

The Parable of Little Spruce

Poor Little Spruce was sad. She was not tall and glorious like the whispery aspen. She could not grow apples like the apple tree. She did not have an invigorating pine scent like the proud, bushy pine tree. She was very unhappy.

She asked her friend Raccoon to dot pine sap on her branches, and Raccoon was glad to help. And it worked! The smell of pine emanated from her branches, adding to the delicious, earthy scent of the forest.

Until it rained and the pine sap washed off her.

“Maybe I can bear fruit!” she said when her cones grew in.  She concentrated very, very  hard on them, and sent every bit of her sap to the tips of her branches in hopes the cones would turn into apples.  But they did not turn into apples. Or any other kind of edible fruit.

“Well, anyway, what I really want is to be tall like the other trees,” she said.  So she asked her friend Squirrel to tie a rope to her tip-top, and then attach the other end to the tip-top of the tallest aspen. Squirrel did his best to pull the rope tighter and tighter, so that it would stretch her out and make her tall like the aspen. 

But it did not.

“I have nothing to offer the world!” She moaned.

That’s when the Creator came walking by, “Oh silly Little Spruce.” He said.  “I already have a whispery aspen, an apple tree, and a pleasing scented pine tree. I do not need you to be any of those things.”

“But Creator, I’m just nothing. Just a little scrub of a tree.”

“You already please me, Little Spruce. You are exactly as I created you to be, and you are good.” He told her gently touching her branches.

“I do? I am?” Little Spruce asked, “Really?”

“Really Little Spruce!” the Creator chuckled as He continued His walk through the forest.

I please the Creator just as I am. He made me just the way He wanted me! She thought.  The idea pleased Little Spruce to no end.  She couldn’t think about her smallness anymore, because she couldn’t stop thinking about how she pleased the Creator and how he made her so unique. Finally, she could hold it in no longer.

“Thank you Creator, for the way you made me! Thank you for all the different kinds of trees! You are an awesome Creator!” She pointed her branches to heaven, and just thought about the Creator.

Suddenly, her trunk began to stretch toward heaven. She pointed her tip-top to where the Creator sat. She heard the Creator chuckle with delight.

“Thank you!” she called.

And she spent the rest of her life praising the Creator, in snow, and in sun and in rain. She praised Him when hunting eagles perched atop her branches, and when hikers rested in her shade. She never thought about her height again, only about the Creator.  And she taught her children to do the same.

It is a simple parable, but the message is something I think every person has struggled with in their lifetime. 

To really bring the message home I gave each of my students a little tree grow kit.

It will be interesting to see if the trees will grow as well as my students do!

Advertising Happiness

This has been a crazy busy week!  And still I have, for the most part, been happy!  I have become frustrated with people and situations, but I've been able to turn it around and look for the positive. It is amazing what focusing on the positive can do for you AND those around you.

I have received more compliments on my attitude this week than I have in a long time.  I have even had a few 'thank you's' for helping others see the bright side of the situation.  I don't share this to brag, but to make the point that I obviously needed to work on this area of my life if so many people are noticing! 

In my quest to become a happier person and to bring happiness to those around me, I have come across some quotes from some amazing people that have helped me stay on track.  I've been using this one for inspiration this week:

Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.  Everyone wants to be around somebody who can bring cheer and humor to any situation, and optimistic people have a way of finding good things around every corner.  I've seen it happen over and over again.  Unfortunately, the opposite is also true.  A negative attitude is like an advertisement for unhappiness.

Mary Lou Retton

After reading that quote I decided that I would be an advertisement for happiness.  I would be the person described in Isaiah 52:7:

¶How ^abeautiful upon the mountains are the feet of him that ^bbringeth ^cgood ^dtidings, that ^epublisheth ^fpeace; that bringeth good tidings of good, that publisheth salvation; that saith unto ^gZion, Thy God reigneth!

I have a lot to be happy about, even when I'm stuck in a bad situation.  My attitude is a reflection on my relationship with God and He is the most hopeful, optimistic person I know!



My goal: To keep being a living advertisement for happiness!